We all have that friend. And if you don't, it's time to take a long look at yourself and wonder if you're "that friend."
You know, the friend who insists vinyl is the only way to listen to music. Or that a TV show is only cool because it was "groundbreaking" and no one's ever heard of it. Or that certain wines must be paired with certain meals or worse yet, served in specific glasses.
If you're still fuzzy on how to spot these not-so-rare specimens of humankind, watch a few episodes of "Portlandia"; this should bounce you right up the learning curve. If you haven't heard of "Portlandia," it's probably because you're an unsophisticated person who doesn't know anything about "the biz," and you should go watch some shallow show like "The Walking Dead."
Heh. Just kidding. But you get the gist. It's annoying.
But whether you're "that friend" or not, everyone has these moments, moments where we prefer one thing to another for non-practical, subjective reasons.
But that's what those moments are: a show of preference.
Preferences make up an individual: a person's attention to detail in a hobby or interest just acts as an avenue of expression. And expression is OK. You can meet other winos, car enthusiasts, and music addicts, but you'll likely still argue about the most minute components of grapes, make and model and sound.
The key here is to attempt to channel those preferences in a positive way. If one lets their preferences run amok, they quickly turn into... Snobbery.
And no one wants to be a snob.
Sometimes I find myself being a bit of a snob. When I do, I try to focus on a few small tips:
Understand that people are just as real as you.
A very good quote to understand:
“It wasn't only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you.” —Ian McEwan, "Atonement"
No matter how much you don't understand someone's way of life, just know that they are equally human to yourself. Yes, this includes the basic white girls who watch "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."
They have their own preferences, and though you don't need to be their friend, you do need to realize their realness.
Sometimes people won't give a crap.
Think of something you don't give a crap about. For me, it's fancy food, wine and cocktails.
Example: my girlfriend is a massive (not size-wise, she's quite petite) foodie. She loves making intricate, specialty dishes in their original cultural format. This means pairing dishes with specific beverages and eating practices.
Me? I eat frozen pizza and beer.
Conversely, I work on and talk about cars a lot. I care about specifics, reputation and the culture surrounding cars.
Her? She just cares about the color.
The point is, I don't give a crap about food the same way she doesn't give a crap about music. It could mean the world to you, but it might make up a very small percentage of the life of the person next to you.
Those are the basics. If I feel like I need to assert an opinion within a certain topic, I remind myself of these tips before I do. Just know that you're not wrong to have preferences (no matter how picky they are), but it is wrong to make others feel bad about theirs.
