College is a social environment. This idea has been drilled into our heads through movies, media, stories and just the general hype surrounding these infamous four years. And knowing this, I still chose the second-largest university in the nation even though I've spent a majority of my youth alone as an only child, completely unaware of how to live with other people.
Many people get extroversion and introversion confused with being outgoing versus shy. This is not necessarily true. In fact, introversion and extroversion have more to do with where people get their energy from. Introverts regroup by being alone and processing their day, and that is hard to accomplish in a school with 60,000 other students.
College kids are encouraged to meet as many people as they can, be constantly involved in campus activities and have an avid social life. Clearly, this advice is not tailored toward introverts. I seemed to have forgotten my personality type when forming my expectations for college – somehow I assumed I would blossom into a social butterfly, and I did spend the first week doing everything I could. I was aware of the negative stigma surrounding introversion and tried to change myself in order to experience the upcoming "happiest years of my life" the way I thought I was supposed to. I was so busy that I barely had a moment to myself, and I was suddenly hit with a ton of bricks when I finished the first week absolutely exhausted and needing to go back home for a weekend. I eventually realized I needed to come to terms with the fact that I would never be that "typical" college student that parties every night or is the president of multiple clubs and organizations, as much as the idea of being so involved intrigued me.
I thought there was something wrong with me in the way that I loved being independent and doing things by myself. Then I started paying attention. Walking to class every day, I would pass by hundreds of people my age without a "hello" or a single glance in my direction. My classes are all 200+ person lecture halls and the majority of the students still sat alone. There's not a single time I've been to the dining hall or student union on campus and haven't seen at least 10 students sitting by themselves. I realized, just because college is made out to be the most social time in a young adult's life, doesn't mean it's strange to not be surrounded by other people and be making conversation at all times. It's okay to be by yourself, and this was actually one of the first times I've felt comfortable to be out in public alone, despite my introversion. It's refreshing.
I made the necessary changes to be able to strive comfortably in the second largest university in the nation. I found a close, relatively calm place on campus where I can do homework and get out of my dorm room. I found a small library full of novels and picked out a few to read when I wanted to escape reality. I even joined some smaller volunteer organizations where I can find a few, nice people to spend my day with productively. And I always make sure I can get a few hours of alone time per day. I still indulge in going out and meeting awesome new people every so often, but at the end of the day, I prefer to be curled up with a few close friends and some Netflix (without the chill).
So, as an introvert in college, my advice is to not push yourself. Don't compare yourself to your peers that spend every night out until 2 a.m. socializing. Accept the fact that extroverts dictate the social scene and don't let it fool you into thinking you're alone in the way you are. Make the effort to have a group of close friends as a support system and to just goof off with, but don't be ashamed to be your own best friend. And if you're attending a large university like I am, try and find your own niche. Eventually, your school won't seem as large and daunting anymore.
