If I am being completely honest, for the longest time I never considered myself a feminist. I would get so annoyed with the kind of people that would self-righteously preach about inequality or a man's chivalry being a sign of sexism. Truthfully I never had much exposure to sexism growing up, until I came to college.
In high school, I was very susceptible to social norms and I did so without question. I dressed a certain way because it was deemed "appropriate" by my school, family and community. College, in my opinion, really is the best 4 years of your life because it is a time for you to explore yourself to the fullest, to find out who you want to be, and to make decisions on your own. I have always pushed the envelope with fashion, even at a young age. I remember for my 6th-grade cotillion, I showed up to the dance fully equipped with gloves, a lace corset vest and a sheer veil that covered half of my face. I loved my look, but it was definitely not the normal look for a 12-year-old.
My different sense of style wasn't admired, instead, it got a lot of negative attention from my peers. I went into the dance feeling unique and confident and left second guessing my decision. "What was she thinking" echoed throughout the room.
When I came to college, I continued to push the fashion envelope. I tried new looks that I wouldn't have ever considered to have worn in high school, but amongst a student body of 35,000 people, I wanted to stand out. With this new found sense of freedom, I wanted to try something new. Here and there, some of my outfits were more revealing than others but I always felt comfortable in what I chose to wear out. That is until I realized I was being slut-shamed for my decisions.
I have always been a girl with curves, I have wide hips, a skinny waist, boobs and a butt. Nearly anything I wear, especially for a night out, accentuates these features whether it's intentional or not. It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable with the shape of my body and I finally feel confident enough to wear clothes that show that. I don't think that deserves any type of shame, especially from other women. Wearing low cut tops, tight skirts and short shorts doesn't make you a slut. If it makes you feel confident, beautiful and sexy, then you have that right and if there is one right that I believe in, it's in the right to wear whatever the hell you want.
I understand that there is a time and place for everything and as often as I enjoy staying up to date with the current trends, I have had more than my own fair share of fashion mishaps. But I can honestly look back on every outfit I've worn and say that at that time, I felt like me.
If a girl posts a photo in a revealing bikini, she is praised for her body on social media. If that same girl were to post a photo wearing a revealing dress, she's told to stop. I know this to be true because I've been that girl. We live in a society where women's bodies are hyper-sexualized, demeaned and seen as an object rather than part of a human being. My body is my own and it will not be susceptible to the comments of others because it isn't theirs.
Fashion is something accepted by the masses, but style is what you make your own. In order to have your own authentic sense of style, I think that it is important to make decisions for yourself on what to wear, how, and when to wear it. There are no rules in fashion and that is what I love about it because there is a true beauty in self-expression.
College is the time to find out who you want to be and with that comes finding your OWN sense of style. Before asking yourself, "What was she thinking?", maybe it's time to realize that she's not dressing for you. She is dressing for her confident, beautiful and sexy self and that isn't something to critique, that's something to be applauded.
