I always find myself wishing time would slow down just a little bit and give me more time to spend with my family. No matter what I do or how much I wish it would, time always flies by. Now that I have three children, I find myself trying even harder to get more time in somewhere, to be able to enjoy every moment of their life and not miss anything. I spent the first part of my adult life working all the time and missed so much, so when I was pregnant with my third baby, we decided I could stay home. I was so happy I would finally be there for this one, for every smile, coo, step, and cry. It was great, but as I was enjoying my last little one, my oldest was growing up faster than I could imagine.

I was seventeen, only a child myself, when I found out I was pregnant. I was a senior in high school and starting down a bad road. I remember the day I told my mom I was pregnant. She was devastated, she couldn't even talk to me. At that moment it really sunk in that I was going to be a mom and my life would never be the same. Sure I had other options, but in my mind I decided I was going to have this baby no matter what. I also remember how ashamed people were of me, how some said I would never make anything of my life now. And at that moment I vowed to prove everyone wrong. I took on a full time job and worked as hard as I could to get my high school diploma and I remember walking across that stage knowing I could accomplish anything if I tried hard enough. I remember the day you made your entrance, a beautiful dark haired, dark eyed baby girl and I knew life would never be the same. I was a single mom, basically working forty plus hour weeks and making sure you were well taken care of. I was lucky I had help from family and you never had to be with strangers but I was missing so much.

Before I knew it you were off to Kindergarten and at that moment I wanted time to slow down. But time doesn't and I was left wondering when did you start growing up so fast. It was also at that moment I started questioning if I was doing everything right. Did I give you enough attention? Did you feel loved? Life changed a lot for us the next few years. You got a new father, brother, and we had our first house. Time was flying by and I was still trying to slow it down. Then before I knew it, you were in middle school and I was questioning myself again. Am I doing everything right? Does she know how much I love her? Does she know she is still special to me even though she's not an only child now?

Then I was pregnant with my third baby, your sister. I was home all the time, I got to spend all those moments with all of you. But you were getting closer to being a teenager and I was busy with a newborn. I always felt like I was missing you, as much as I tried I couldn't make up for all the missed time. Now it's been 16 years since your birth and you are a junior in high school. I desperately now beg time everyday to slow down, to give me a little more time with you. In my mind you are still that beautiful baby girl I held in my arms and vowed to take care of you always. But in real life you are so close to graduating, you have plans made and dreams of your own. In a couple years, I will have to let you go to chase your dreams and live your life. I am not ready, I am sure I never will be! So once again I say slow down life, I need more time!