Women are always encouraged to be confident and make the first move when it comes to flirting with the opposite sex. We are encouraged to not wait around for the man of interest to approach us. However, the one time I decided to slide into the DMs and be bold enough to make the first move was the time things took an unexpected turn.
This resulted in my decision to NEVER make the first move again.
Like most colleges these days, my class has a private Facebook page where students are able to ask questions, make friends, and ultimately connect with other kids in their student body. One day, I saw a very attractive man post something about transferring to my school at the beginning of second semester. He wanted to see if people could show him around, be resources for questions he may have or possibly become friends with him.
Naturally, I wanted to help. I clicked on his profile to check him out to make sure there weren't any red flags or warning signs that he could be bad news. Once I saw that there weren't, I decided to slide right on in to his DMs. For those who don't know, sliding into the DMs is defined on Urban Dictionary as. "When you start a direct message chain on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, with the hopes of acquiring the booty."
Conversation started with Brandan, the handsome transfer student, by me complimenting his photography skills and offering my time to show him around campus if he wanted a small tour. We talked about our fields of study, the same vacation we took to Costa Rica, fun facts about our hometowns, and the planning of a coffee and campus tour date. From there, conversation flowed, compliments were exchanged, and things turned out to be what I thought was a flirtatious exchange of words. However, I couldn't have been more wrong.
I was texting Brandan on and off for the next week or so and the anticipation to meet each other after winter break kept growing as the days went on. One of the days after Brandan and I's correspondence started, another one of my close friends, Jake, texted me in a very excited fashion.
He said, "OMG YOU KNOW BRANDAN?!?!?!?!"
This took me by surprise. I didn't know why Jake would be talking to Brandan of all people, so I decided to do some digging. I confirmed that I did know him and then continued to ask how he knew him. I then found out that Brandan was in an LGBTQ+ group chat that consisted of people who went to our school, including Jake (who is gay). As soon as I found that bit of information out, I was totally taken aback. The compliments Brandan was giving me on my appearance were genuine compliments. The plans we were making were not dates whatsoever. Brandan was not hitting on me. Brandan was gay.
After this epiphany of mine, I immediately called Jake and told him everything that had gone down between Brandan and I. Jake listened with open ears, analyzed what I was saying, and then continued to tell me, "I honestly don't know how you didn't see this because your gaydar is usually pretty on point."
When Brandan and I actually met upon returning to school, I told him this exact story and thankfully he thought it was funny. From that moment on, Brandan and I's friendship has blossomed into something great. I helped him get acquainted with his new campus and city, get a few new experiences under his wing, and create memories that will last a lifetime. In the midst of all this, we have come to the conclusion that we are actually long lost twins because we have so much in common, look alike to the point where we have been asked if we're brother and sister in public, and have the same train of thought.
When people ask how we met, we always look at each other and start to chuckle because our story is one that is very unique. My friends also poke fun at me for "being in love" with Brandan and I always respond that I am. I'm in love with this kid because he is such a great friend to me, has a beautiful soul, and is such a positive light in my life. So even though I had intentions of snagging a boyfriend when I originally slid into his DMs and didn't have my expectations met, I am perfectly content with the soul sibling I got out of it all.
Ryan Marincic
