Keep your heart with vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

A small, two-line verse in the book of Proverbs diagnosed me with a heart problem.

You see, my heart has not been pouring clear, crisp waters, but it has spewed mud, polluted and clumped up.

I have a heart condition, and it is called habitual sin.

There is a difference between normal sin and habitual sin. A normal sin is a sin you commit, repent for and fight off regularly. A habitual sin is a sin you get cozy with. You like this sin. Indeed, it is your favorite. You may try to fight it sometimes, but halfheartedly and without conviction. You aren’t really sorry for this sin. This is your own special brand of crime and you commit it with a smile on your face.

This is my heart condition, and it is making me a slave.

"I have been overcome by this high-grade sin time after time, and whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved." (2 Peter 2:19)

I read this verse just last night and could hear my chains clanking against one another.

They say that with Christ you are supposed to be free. Well, I’m not free.

I am shackled. And to what? Myself, my sin filled heart, my pride. They all tell me that I don’t need to feel bad for this sin. What’s wrong with it anyways? It really isn’t causing damage to anyone.

Christ tells me it is infecting me from the inside out.

So what do I do? What does anyone do when they become numb to sin?

You run.

You run to the physician, the only one who can help you, and you lay your heavy, puffed up heart at his feet. You tell him the truth. You say you know this sin is wrong but you don’t care. Then you ask for a new heart, one that does care. You ask for conviction and humbling. In time, he’ll give it to you. He will purge you with hyssop. He will give you the double cure of blood and water. Your iniquities and your spirit will separate like water and oil.

This doesn’t sound very fun because it is not. This is a process that, in your stubborn pride, forces you to look inward and see your deepest failings. It hurts.

But remember that, ultimately, sin hurts more because it separates you from your source of love, peace, joy, goodness and life.

We can’t have life while we are clinging to sin; we are slaves.

They say that with Christ you are supposed to be free. Well, I am not free. But I know that I can be.

Christ died on the cross for my sins. That doesn’t just mean he died so I could be forgiven. It also means that he died so that I could sin no more. Through Christ, and through Christ only, we can have freedom from ourselves to sin no more.

Psalm 118: 5 says, “Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free.”

All I have to do is call on the Lord and I will be free from this sin.

If you’re struggling with sin, that’s all you have to do, too.