Slam Poetry: A Hidden Wonder

Slam Poetry: A Hidden Wonder

A thank you to those who turn feelings into words
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Slam poetry is one of the hidden wonders in today’s world. I didn’t discover slam poems myself until my senior year of high school when my English teacher had us watch “Somewhere in America." I was hit hard by the power this poem was able to possess. From that point on, I was hooked on slam poetry. I’ve spent numerous hours watching various slam poems on YouTube, ranging in themes from unrequited love to depression. I’ve found the way a slam poem makes me feel is unlike anything else. This is a thank you letter to those who write and perform slam poetry.

I’d like to say thank you for speaking for millions of us. Numerous poets admit they write for themselves, but have the courage to share their deepest feelings with the world. Thank you for that. I can’t even begin to tell you how much your words have influenced me. Slam poetry has been an emotional support system for me when I had nothing else. I thought there was no one out there who had ever gone through the situation that I was currently in, but slam poetry always taught me otherwise. Someone out there was always feeling just the same.

Your ability to turn such raw, powerful emotions into such heart-wrenching analogies is beyond belief. I’m not sure what is running through a slam poet’s mind when they begin writing, but the ability to compare one’s happiness to the most perfect object is a true talent. I’ve tried writing slam poetry for a few months now, and I’ve never been that successful. Turning one’s deepest thoughts into words is difficult as is, but having an ability to wave tears through a crowd is beyond belief. If I could have any talent in the world, it’d honestly be to write slam poetry. It’s something I truly admire.

My favorite slam poems have helped me in my darkest of moments. Right now, I’m completely in love with “To the Boy I Would Have Lost My Virginity To” by Anna Binkovitz. Anna shares with the world the struggles of her eating disorder and how that makes her feel when she wants to have sex with someone, especially the guy who would've been her first. Another classic on my list is, “When Love Arrives” by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye. It's a laid-back twist on the feeling of finding your soulmate from a young age. Lastly, there’s “How to Succeed in Heartbreak” by Victoria Morgan, who will have anyone who’s ever experienced a bad end to a relationship relating from a deeper level. As you can tell, all of these poems have greatly contrasting themes, but still have an ability to relate to my life and keep me coming back for more.

Slam poets, this is my final thank you. Without your work I’d be left alone at my darkest moments; wondering why I was forced into a difficult situation. Your ability to turn your heartbreak into inspirational work for numerous people is truly wonderful. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

I fully believe the best way to get through a difficult time is to write about it. Get all your feelings out on paper and let it be known that you’re pissed off, or completely in love. Whatever you write may be shitty at first, as most of my writings are, but I promise you will one day write something worth sharing with the world. Who knows, you could have the world's next hit slam poem in your hands!

Cover Image Credit: Brokebutbougie.com

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30 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

Things a best male friend would tell you.
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1. The sexy, crazy fun girl doesn’t always win the guy.
Yes, we are attracted to the fun party girls that never settle down, but at the end of the day, we can’t bring those girls home to meet our moms. Every guy is looking for the sweet, beautiful and down-to-earth girl that makes us laugh, keeps us grounded and believes in us. We want a girl that we can talk to about more than just how many shots we can take before we blackout. Guys want to date a Megan Fox and marry an Emma Watson.

2. Men are not mind readers.

3. Sunday sports are like the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. It's a fact of life, and you've just got to let it be.

4. When a game is on, please only talk during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, so neither do we.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let me be really clear about this one. Whether the hint is subtle or obvious, we're probably not going to get what you're trying to say. So, just tell us what you want.

7. Anything said a week ago becomes null and void and cannot be brought up in an argument again.

8. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it. Not both.

9. We only see about 16 colors.
For example, the term "peach" is a fruit, not a color.

10. If we ask what’s wrong, and you reply, "Nothing," we will act as if nothing is wrong.
We probably know that you’re lying, but it’s not worth the fight.

11. You have enough of my fraternity shirts.
Don’t keep asking for more, and don’t just take them. You have to earn them.

12. Stop telling me to make you my #WCW.
Everyone gets annoyed with the couples that make each other their #MCM or #WCW every week; we will not be that couple.

13. It’s not attractive to hear you talk bad about other girls.
I know you don’t like one of your sisters because she stole your Big-Little shirt idea, but keep that talk for your sisters, not us.

14. Being smart is very attractive.
We want a girl that can read a book and carry on a good conversation.

15. Allow me to open the door for you.
Don’t let chivalry die. I know you’re 100 percent capable of opening the door yourself, but see it as a nice gesture. It’s something our dad taught us to do.

16. I’m going to try and fix your problems.
Don’t vent to me if you don’t want me to try and fix what’s going on. That’s what guys do.

17. Don’t take my fries.
I’m a growing man, and I need my food but will gladly take whatever you don’t eat.

18. Don’t be dramatic.
Guys don’t like girls that are crazy about drama, plain and simple. If you enjoy the attention that getting jealous gets you, you will not get my attention.

19. Don’t say you miss me after an hour or a day.
That’s when you begin to edge into the "clingy" zone.

20. It’s okay to compliment us.
We like when you tell us we look good. We will just never say that out loud.

21. But don’t call us "pretty" or "beautiful."
This is not "Twilight," we do not sparkle, and we are not "pretty".

22. “I’m not looking for a relationship” can sometimes be directly translated to "You’re great, but we’re just not ready to be tied down quite yet."

23. We’re all on that college budget.
So know that we would like to give you the world, but can only afford the dollar menu sometimes.

24. If my friends don’t approve of you, then odds are we won't be able to date.
The same sentiment goes for my family.

25. I will smile, but not 100 times.
I’ll take pictures because you want to, but if I’m being honest, you’re going to look just as good in the first one as you will in 100th one you force someone to take.

26. We don’t always have to be doing something.
We can enjoy Netflix and a large pizza.

27. You have too many shoes.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. Don't ask a question that you don't want an answer to.

30. We are in shape. Round IS a shape.

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Loving a Narcissist is like living a horror film

Decoding narcissism using a horror film analogy.

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The closet door creaks open.

A ball rolls out.

So do the whispers.

She picks up the ball, glances at the towering closet door, and begins to walks towards the closet. Dad credits her resonating laughs around the house to the "imaginary friend" who keeps her company when she's sad or lonely. She trusts and cares for her friend by leaps and bounds, accommodating spaces for them in her drawings and at the dinner table.

One day, her friend invites her to the rooftop. With their hands clutched, she leaps. But instead of falling into the friend's abysmal home, she falls into Dad's arms.

Dad carries her into the house, raging with fury at all the warnings she didn't pay heed to. A trail of broken kitchenware surrounds the seat reserved for her friend. She claims her friend is angry too.

She tries to reason, explains Dad is important to her, how much she needs him, and that she won't abandon him. The house begins to shake. The whispers traverse the walls and set the curtains on fire.

She's afraid, but her voice remains soft. She comforts her friend, recounting all the reasons she adores them. The fire extinguishes. She offers the ball. The house stops shaking.

Dad understands this is beyond his comprehension. He attempts to take her out the front door, only to have every exit close on him. She follows the rolling ball. Dad can't get through the vent. As she tosses the ball over, Dad watches the glimmer from her eyes fade.

She's hurting now and wants back. But they have her. They call themselves Narcissists.


As someone who has been in familial, romantic, and platonic relationships with narcissists and is a horror film enthusiast, I can confirm these relationships were synonymous with a real-life horror film. We all know how horror films end — sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't. Either way, nothing remains the same and it makes for one hell of a story.


As a kid, I believed spirits wished to help and ghosts desired to hurt. Based on my observation and experience, I've come to realize that there are two kinds of narcissists — the "Spirit" and the "Ghost". The "Spirit" might or might not be tormented, but has an inflated sense of self because of the nurturing they received. The Ghost is extremely tormented (despite or because of their nurturing) and has an inflated ego to make up for their insecurities, lack of self-love, and need for control.


The family background of a "Spirit" constitutes a healthy one where they were loved deeply and given numerous positive affirmations regularly. As a result, love of any sort for them is synonymous with self-love.

The fundamental definition of a narcissist is someone who loves themselves more than they could possibly love someone else, someone who has an exaggerated sense of importance.

That's not to say they cannot love and don't pay heed to advice. In fact, they do find true love and live fully based on navigating life with a balance of their intuition and external feedback. So, the narcissists of the "Spirit" form are well-intentioned.

They will not manipulate and make demands to hurt you. They simply love themselves more than anything but are capable of loving others as much as they love themselves. They are whole. Inspiring even.

When adversity strikes, they become better, not bitter. In fact, trauma brings out their gentle self, such that they heal, but not at the cost of others' sanity. Most of my closest friends fall into this category and as much as we joke around about their narcissistic tendencies, they have the power to let nothing faze them while simultaneously lifting others up.

They are compassionate, extremely confident, and empathetic. Like a spirit, they are approachable, will seem intimidating to the rest of the world who doesn't know them, are not lifeless, are more of wandering Souls, and will most likely guide you to safety, to home. These are the ones who make sure the kid doesn't die at the end of the horror movie and attempt to save the kid.


Then there are the ones that fall under "Ghost". I like to think of the "Ghost" as lost, tortured "Spirits". They want to be like the "Spirit" and most likely began as one, but cannot be.

The "Ghost" represents that definition where a narcissist is a predator who feeds on attention, life, love, and emotional response employs manipulation to establish control and will suck you dry of energy till you're hollow.

These are the ones who either came from an abusive family background and became bitter and mistrustful of everyone around them and so, can be heard preaching and ranting about the same.

Or they came from a functional family but encountered another "Ghost" who caused so much pain and hysteria, they became like them.

Such an instance would be being in love with a narcissist who sees you as nothing but a source of supply for attention, love, intimacy, and ego but convinces you to be the center of their world and so, messes with your mental space only to leave you for another source and re-enter your life when the other sources have been exhausted.

Basically caring for a figure who should have made you feel loved, wanted, and important, but ensured you felt the exact opposite and so, distorted reality so much for you, you lost all sense of self and worth.

Instead of inflicting pain on oneself to cope with it, "Ghost" inflicts it on others. And thus, the mania manifests. Trauma reveals a Ghost's true self since they make it out bitter, not better.

Being inept at coping with adversity, they heal at the cost of someone else's sanity. So, like a ghost, they prey on the innocent, can seem harmless until they charm and reel you in, trick you into believing their false self (the image they have of themselves which reflects their God complex) is their real self by victimizing themselves, slowly unravel their real self and the minute you detect this version of them, they try everything in their power to maintain you as a source for their ego like hurting you. Just like the ghosts in Poltergeist who would not rest until the kid was dead.


I've been attached to some "Ghosts" in the last few years and if there's anything you should know is that trying to have a mature conversation with and walking out of that conversation with your sanity intact with such beings is impossible. They are most certainly not human, lack empathy, and are horrifying on the inside yet manage to pass themselves off as incredibly charming.

As much as I pity their state, the best anyone can do is to simply not engage (cut them off, supply neutral responses, treat your relationship with them as a neutral event, etc.) and let them find another source to feed on. Don't even try to convince anyone of their reality (including them) because no matter what you do, they will either deflect or dismiss and you'll be seen as the boy crying wolf.

You can't help those who don't even know they need help.

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