When I was in elementary school I loved skipping. It's kind of funny, because it took me forever to learn other forms of movement in PE class, like karaoke, but skipping was just innate to me. I loved skipping so much that I would skip through the hallways at school, not aware of my movement, just moving as naturally as could be, skipping from my mom's reading classroom to my Kindergarten classroom each morning.
One day, and probably many others, a teacher stopped me and spoke the words that every kid hears so often at school, at the swimming pool, and many other places, for good reason, "walk please." I was asked to stop skipping. I was asked to stop skipping, and walk to my classroom, a movement that was much more boring, less joyful for me.
In second grade, I became aware of another innate action of mine: humming. I spent much of my work time in class humming a favorite song, or simply a song that was stuck on repeat in my mind.
One day, I was sitting at my desk humming the theme song to Scooby Doo, and a boy near me complained to my teacher, who then asked me to stop. I suppose I tried to stop humming, but the thing is, I didn't even realize I was humming in the first place. Perhaps I wasn't an extremely self-aware child, or maybe I was living in a way that was natural for me.
Growing up, whenever my brother was extremely excited about something like a birthday gift or a favorite activity, he would jump all around the floor, in a sort of dance/jumping routine full of joy. This was usually accompanied by exciting laughter and gleeful noises.
As he got older, he stopped jumping and dancing. I don't know why, but it went away almost completely.
Skipping, humming, jumping.
When did you stop skipping? When did you stop humming? When did you stop jumping for joy?
Obviously, to this day I still skip and hum on occasion, and I am sure my brother still secretly jumps in some way, but the joy behind it all is less obvious. The freedom is less apparent and the shame is a little more palpable.
Why do we stop skipping and humming and jumping? Do we stop because we want to, do we stop because we think we are "supposed to" or we are embarrassed?
Who decided it wasn't "cool" to be excited and joyful? Who decided life was more serious and straightforward? Perhaps for some, serious and straightforward is natural, but for me, joyful and excited is the innate disposition.
Who told you to stop? When was your natural movement stifled? Why did you stop skipping, humming, jumping, dancing, laughing, singing, smiling?
We can move backwards, and sometimes backwards isn't all that bad. We can move back to our original, child-like selves, without losing maturity or wisdom. The two can live in harmony, as different as they seem.
So skip, sing, jump, dance, laugh, smile. Do it for the little one inside of you. Do it to tell the little one inside of you that your natural movement is not wrong. It is you, it is freedom, it is yours and it is good.
You were and are and will always be good and free.
