I remember shopping for prom dresses during my senior year of high school, in a store where the dress samples could never reach behind my back, and the visions of my potential prom dress were make-believe until I could have it ordered and fitted to my figure. I never minded. Even the ugliest dresses were fun to try on so I could laugh at myself. As I was at the store where I ended up buying the dress I wore on my milestone night, looking in the mirror at one of the contenders, I overheard a mom on the other side of the salon proudly say to her daughter, “Oh my god, you look so skinny!”

I was confused. For the first time, I heard that statement a little differently.

I thought of it this way…

If someone said, “Wow, you look so skinny,” most people would take it as a compliment. I mean, isn’t that what we’re all supposed to aspire to be? We’re supposed to have “summer body goals” and “dream bodies,” and we’re told that “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”

But what if someone said, “Hey, wow, you look like you’re a really healthy weight!” Or, “Man, I bet you’re in prime reproductive health!” Weird, right?

There’s nothing wrong with being skinny. But there’s nothing right with it either. Some people are, some people can’t be. It’s the same way with being big. There’s nothing wrong, nothing right, nothing good, nothing bad. As long as the person is healthy, it just is what it is.

I guess I just wonder why we aren’t more focused on health rather than appearance. I wonder why we aren’t conditioned with the same emphasis on wellness rather than appearance. I, for instance, wore a size 14 dress to my prom. And no, I did not look skinny, if you’re wondering. But I truly can’t think of another time I’d felt more beautiful than at my prom. I felt timeless, classic, confident, and energetic. I danced the entire night, ate a ton of the crappy buffet food, and had an awesome time. But I didn’t feel skinny, or look skinny, nor did I want or need anyone to tell me I did.

I wore a size 14 dress to prom, but I can plank for 90 seconds straight.

I can’t fit my ass into American Eagle jeans, but I can climb a mountain.

I hope that girl in the salon felt stunning in the dress she looked “so skinny” in. I hope she danced, laughed, spent her prom night with people she loved, and forgot how skinny she looked... because it simply didn’t matter.

What if we promoted the concept of individual body positivity rather than the desire to be thin? What if we conditioned people to have health and fitness aspirations rather than summer body goals? What if we didn’t give a shit if nothing tastes better than skinny feels? The “feeling” of being skinny is artificially crafted by our unrealistic, appearance driven society.

I would rather have someone tell me I look healthy, strong, and that I glow with self confidence, than tell me I look skinny. Because I don’t. And I don't care. Because I’m healthy. I’m strong. I’m confident. Those are compliments to me.