Spring break seems so far away, but it's creeping up on us faster than we care to realize. The bittersweet realization that you're going to be partying it up in Mexico is both exciting and terrifying, since many of us are nowhere near close to being beach-ready and showing off our flabby, post-holiday bods. Especially since the past few weeks have looked a little bit like this: 

and this:

and definitely some of this:

And all of this takes a major toll on our once "okay" bodies and turns them into a Christmas nightmare instead of a Christmas miracle.

It's not like we can even make our way over to the gym to work off all the sugary cookie horrors because of all the fitness wannabe's fulfilling New Year's resolutions. But unlike these people, we have an agenda of fat-burning super-fitness to make sure we can post some Tumblr-worthy Instagrams of us lounging on the commercial beaches of PV. Now what is a girl to do? We can stumble into our packed gyms that feel like this:

And when you finally find a machine to get the "perfect thigh gap" you just look like this:

But none of that will make a difference when it comes time to hop on the plane to the beaches of self-doubt. So then you figure you can try eating healthy and maybe that'll help, and it winds up being like this:

Because Lord knows you have never eaten healthy and probably never could, and after all of this "trying" you've done to make a positive change in your life, you resort to this:

and just wind up hating yourself later on. 

So the moral of the story is that none of us are going to be as beach-ready as we hope. We have to accept and love our flabby bodies and rely on a really sweet Insta filter and spot-on body positioning to make ourselves seem fabulously skinny when getting fabulously and legally drunk in Mexico.