My Sister's Bitter Ex,

Let me start by saying how sorry I feel for you. No, I'm not sorry because I wish things happened differently between you and my little sister; I knew from the very beginning that you were too self-centered and immature for a girl as selfless as her. Rather, I'm sorry to see how you continue to live an ignorant, bitter life despite the constant support and forgiveness that you received from me and my family. All we ever wanted was the best for you, yet you relentlessly abused our kindness.

Admittedly, you've endured your fair share of hardships during your short time growing up: you struggled in school, were never able to hold a steady job, and you were even thrown out of your own home and family by the time you were only eighteen. All the same, your troubled life gave you no excuse to treat my loving sister so poorly. If anything, my family's generosity during your time of need - bringing you into our home, giving you food and money, and accepting you as our own despite your many flaws - is all the more reason why you should have treated my sister with unending love and respect. Unfortunately, your mind never worked that way. You were abusive, hot-headed, and an absolute bully, and it took a lot of pain and heartache for my sister to finally see that.

Of course, things didn't start as badly as they became. Before your escalating hardships put a strain on the former relationship, the ways that you hurt my sister were understated and often went without notice. If you weren't driving dangerously with her trapped in the front seat, then you were treating her with a "too cool" disinterest in front of your loser friends. If you weren't beating her down over nonsense and misunderstandings, then you were doing reckless things behind her back. Time and time again, I got to lay in bed at night and listen to her cry through our thin bedroom walls. And as your relationship wore on, your mistreatments and her grief only seemed to worsen.

All the same, the stress of your past relationship is water under the bridge. After years of your fighting, pleading, and promising, both you and my sister learned to let go of the toxic, hopeless cycle. Furthermore, your unstable homelessness forced you to move half way across the country, you both found new, seemingly compatible partners, and everyone has since then moved on with their lives. That is, everyone seemed to move on at first.

Every now and again, you and your "charming" new girlfriend come back around to brandish a deep hatred and resentment toward my family. Why? Maybe because you feel guilty. Maybe because you secretly miss my sister and just can't cut ties completely. Regardless of the reason, it's immature and misplaced (and also pointless, because your trouble is no longer welcome here.) Although I endured you for a painfully long time out of sheer love and sympathy for my sister, I no longer have that obligation.

As the saying goes, sometimes you meet the right person, but it happens all at the wrong time. And while it may true that things could have been better if only life played you a different hand, you continuously make me thankful that life didn't. I don't hate people easily; I try to forgive and forget way more often than I should. But you? I hate you for how you treated my little sister.

So while there's no erasing the pain that you have already left behind, I do hope that you start to grow up, take responsibility for your actions, and learn how to treat this new girlfriend of yours with newfound care and consideration. My sister and my family might have been foolishly overgenerous, but you won't always be so lucky.

Signed, An Angry Big Sister