The hashtag “#RelationshipGoals” has been taking over Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and even Snapchat since I was in seventh grade. The pressure to be in a relationship by, not only my peers but society (it seemed) was incredibly overwhelming. I admit I gave into the pressure, and I can safely say I feel nothing but regret for getting into the complicated web of dating and relationships before I was ready. It’s nothing against the people I’ve dated and been in relationships with: I’m still close friends with some of them, and a lot of them are great people. I just wasn’t ever in the mindset to be in a relationship.
I’ve been single for three years and I’ve loved every second of it. I’ve seen friends go in and out of relationships, and yes, I’ve felt jealous and lonely. Sometimes, I feel like Bridget Jones eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and having a pity-party in my bedroom. Sometimes, I took it out at the gym, saying to myself over and over “you don’t need a man to make yourself feel good.” But, the more I did to try not to think about it, the worse it got. Was I going to feel this way for the rest of my life? Was I never going to have a wedding, have a family? It even got to the point where I looked at children and wanted to cry because I had gotten it in my head that I was incapable of having a relationship, and that I would never have children because of it.
One can argue these thoughts were very overdramatic, but I feel like a lot more women go through this process than people think. Women are socialized in such a way where people associate women with husbands and women with children. But what about all the women who aren’t interested in marriage, in men, or in children? Or what about all the women who feel left out because they don’t have a strong relationship in their '20s? Or even in their teens? Social media is incredibly toxic, especially for us single ladies out there, because ever cute couple picture we see makes us feel less and less worthy, and capable, of a healthy, long-term relationship.
However, all you lovely ladies (and gentlemen) out there: here’s an interesting thought: what if we all stopped letting social media get to our heads? What if we stopped feeling bad about being single? When you’re single, only you are eating all the food in your fridge, not another person, you get a whole bed to yourself without someone taking all the sheets or flailing around all night. When you’re single, you get to go out with your friends and aren’t tied down to date nights. You get to enjoy life as an individual and figure out who you want to be, single and in a relationship. Sometimes, relationships can drag you down and make you someone you aren’t. Being single lets you figure that out, and that’s a beautiful thing to discover.
The best relationship you could ever have is with yourself!
I am not at all bashing on relationships or people in them: I think relationships are #adorable, or #goals, but I’m not going to let other people’s happiness effect my own. I will not let myself begin to feel bad about being single, because there’s too much to be happy about! Plus, my relationships with my friends and family are equally as important, if not more important, than a relationship with a partner. Sure, I’d love to cuddle and watch Christmas movies, but if I’m being completely honest, I’d probably do that with my friends, or even myself! Just some food for thought: maybe being single is a blessing, not a curse. Maybe being single will be the time to discover who you are! No matter the reasoning, no one should EVER feel bad about being single: there’s little to feel bad about, trust me! I’ve done it for three years and never felt better.
