It’s that joyful time of year when the air is filled with cinnamon and pine. Homes are warm and brightly lit. The cooling weather brings forth both snow and days spent tucked indoors, cuddled in cozy sweaters, and sipping hot cocoa from adorable holiday themed mugs. Amongst all of the cheer and wonder this holiday season we cannot forget the one thing most twenty-somethings are dreading this month – the thought of the family dinner.
“Why?!”, some people may shout furiously. Aren’t the holidays supposed to be all about coming together?
Well, yeah, but let’s not forget about the questions.
LOTS. OF AWKWARD. QUESTIONS.
And if you’re anything like me this holiday season (and by that I mean single as ever) your family dinner will most likely be filled with questions about your love life, the prospect of you providing grandchildren, and maybe (but oh GOD I hope not) your sex life. Everyone has the relative that will ask these questions. And, no matter what holiday you’re celebrating this season, you’re probably going to need an answer:
When Great-Uncle Bob asks why you haven’t found a nice boy/girl yet?
I don’t know Uncle Bob, maybe because gender is a construct and I don’t want to date in a society that has not fully come to terms with that fact.
Because if there is one thing your baby-boomer relatives will hate, its comments that support “the liberal agenda”…whatever that is.
When cousin Sally brings up her wonderful boyfriend for the 10000th time, shows your family her “Our Love <3 ~~” titled Facebook photo album, and asks about that person she KNOWS you broke up with months ago.
Sometimes people just want to be the better family member, but you show her you’re not playing nice.
Okay Sally, I don’t need the passive aggressive bullsh*t today, girl. Sit down because while you and Brad are finding your life together - or whatever, I’m finding myself and that is fan-freaking-tastic. Thanks! Pass the salt.
When Grandma Mae asks if there is a special boy OR a girl in your life with eyes that show a fearful acceptance.
No, Grandma, there isn’t a special boy or girl in my life at the moment. But I have decided to take this time as a youth to explore my sexuality in all kinds of ways. It’s all about casual fun right?
Because sometimes making it awkward will make it go away… right?
When Grandpa Joe asks how many great-grand kids you’re going to give him because you are only going to be young for so long and you've got to start thinking about these things.
Well, grandpa, I wasn't really thinking about right now, but thank you for reminding me that my youth is fleeting and our lives are only temporary over this wonderful meal. Not sure how many children I’ll have, but I'll let you know when I decide to try and provide for not only myself on my broke college kid income, but another human being as well.
.
Because sometimes you just have to serve some realness.
When Aunt Jenny, as she pours herself yet another chocolate martini, implies that maybe you’re uptight because you need a man/woman in your life to “provide some stress relief”.
Crawl under the table and wither there until your holiday dinner is over.
Because there are some questions that there are just no answers to.
And remember keep smiling because you can always have another drink!
