It’s happened to the best of us. We’re sitting at an honest family gathering, and suddenly BAM, someone asks the question, “So, you have a boyfriend yet?” It’s a question that strikes fear, dread, and anger into the center of one’s being. What do you tell them? Do you lie and hope they start asking questions, or do you tell the truth and receive the third degree about “why a pretty girl like yourself hasn’t found themselves a nice guy.” And you’re sitting there thinking, “Why does it matter?”
In a world like ours, where girls are often judged not only based on whether or not they have a boyfriend, being single can feel like a kick in the gut. It can make you feel lonely, even though you may have a strong group of friends, it can make you feel undesirable, even though you’ve had boyfriends in the past. And it can make you lose confidence in yourself.
You can’t help but begin to compare yourself to other people. Your inner mantra begins to change to things like, “If I looked like her, I’d have a boyfriend,” or, “If I lost weight, someone would like me,” or “If I became more fashionable, they’d notice me.” You start to resent going out on Saturday nights because your friends with significant others make you feel like a third wheel, even though they promise you you’re not. You can’t go anywhere without noticing all the couples around you. A trip to the zoo with the family becomes a personal competition with the strangers around you. You constantly walk around, looking your best hoping that a trip to the grocery store will end with a date.
But here’s the secret. It’s okay to be single. It’s okay not to have found “the one.” Your worth is not defined by the person hanging on your arm. Take your time. Enjoy being single. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable. Bask in all the benefits it has to offer. Learn to live by yourself and for yourself, you’ll thank yourself for it later. Work on your strengths, and improving your weaknesses. Decide what you want out of life and go for it. Have standards. Don’t settle for someone or something simply because you’re embarrassed to answer those awkward questions at family reunions or having to explain to someone why you’re single. Because chances are, the universe has something better in store for you, you just have to be patient.
