This letter is for the 20-somethings who think they are ready for a long term relationship.
Girls, it is time we take a step back and realize who we are as individuals first. We are independent women who don’t need to be taken care of. Let this be your time to wake up, smell the roses and take control of your life. The stereotypes of belonging in the kitchen, speaking when spoken to or being seen and not heard are over. The stereotype of being a single cat lady is far from reality. You are you. Money bets that you don’t even know who you are yet, and that is OK.
Long term relationships are meant for people who are comfortable and satisfied with who they are. One thing is for sure: never settle. Are you settling for a man who doesn’t have career aspirations just because he has good looks and you won’t ever find another one like him? That is strike one, you’re wrong. Are you staying with him out of guilt or pressure? That is strike two. Are you staying in a relationship because you are afraid of change? Whelp my friend that is strike three. It is OK to be single. It is O.K. to enjoy life and find out what you like. Don’t think this letter is just out to get you, single ladies this is for you too.
Do not ever lower your self-worth just because a man is giving you attention. Yeah sure those dating apps are fun and crazy sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you lower your standards as an individual. One rule that all single women cannot break is to not fall in love with being in love. Love is something that is worked at for a long period of time, and that is a privilege given after gaining trust, respect and affection. As a single woman, you are lucky if you see love after six months in a relationship, if you time it correctly. The first thing you need to learn to love is yourself. Maybe you aren’t happy with how you look image wise. Girl change your diet, go for a run, go learn how to do that makeup tutorial you’ve been dying to try. Go dye your hair. Go on a shopping spree. Girl, do you, and find out who you are as an independent woman. Empower yourself. Find out what you like or what you don’t like. What your future house is going to be decorated as. Even name and pick out your future vehicles. We do not need anyone to give us labels or to define who we are. Go on vacation; usually the beach and waves crashing onto the sand can give you all the right answers.
In no way, shape, or form are we idolizing marriage. If you’re a 20-something married woman, then kudos to you, you are inspirations for us single women to look up to. For right now, we get a little more time to find out who we are and to love ourselves a little more. Don’t jump into an unhealthy relationship. Do not settle for the relationship you do not deserve. Every woman deserves for the door to be held open for her, flowers just because and for someone to love and support her. If every turn you take is driving you to a dead end where someone just doesn’t have that respect for you, then take a step back and go a different direction, by yourself.
Getting the ring is a whole other journey that we single twenty-somethings are nowhere near ready for. And that is perfectly fine. Married 20-somethings have worked at their relationship for years and were in the state we are trying to find now, when they first became a couple. One thing is for sure, do not compare yourself to others. You are always lovable, always wanted and always beautiful. Don’t ever think otherwise. Do well for yourself. Focus on getting that promotion at work, focus on getting that degree and most definitely focus on your health. Material items only get you so far in life, let’s be real. Love yourself, depend on yourself. Whatever is meant to happen, will happen. A person will not love you if you do not love yourself first. Share this with someone who you know is struggling with their identity, who can’t seem to catch a break in their love life or even someone who is losing hope. Empower them and show them that it is OK that life punches you square in the nose sometimes. You always dust yourself off and get up stronger every-time. Don’t ever doubt yourself or your self-worth. Not everyone is gonna like you, its fine. The only opinion that matters is yours. Go out there and make a difference in the world by being the strong and beautiful you.
