Since You've Been Gone

Since that day, the day you were taken home, I have had many thoughts go through my mind. My first and most permanent thought in my mind was how could I ever go on without you. Why would God leave me here alone without you to suffer. Thoughts like these have tried to completely take over my mind. However, my God has never failed me and although it's been hard, he has never failed me.

Since you've been gone, I have found my light, my reason to go on. That my dear, is to see you again and to do that I had to change. I continued my relationship with Christ. Although I make mistakes daily, I do all the good I do for the Glory of Him.

Since you've been gone, I had to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and special occasions all without you. This feeling emptiness and being alone almost consumed me but again the Lord came through and seen me through.

Since you've been gone our monthly anniversaries seem so lonely and Valentine's Day was almost unbearable but I got through it with the help of my Savior and friends.

Since you've been gone I got a promotion at work and work hard daily to make you proud of the person I am becoming. I want to tell you about work after every shift like we always used to do. I wish every day to come home and call you to talk about my day. Now I just think the words I want to say to you and I know you hear them.

Since you've been gone some would think that I have moved on and forgot about you but I want you to know I think of you every day. Without you here physically it only makes me think of you all the more. Every day I do the things I do for you and for the Glory of God. To make you proud.

Since you've been gone, some days are harder than others and my heart re-breaks for you and some days I just smile and appreciate our time. But every day I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and miss you dearly.

Since you've been gone I've fought tooth and nail to just live for you and be the person you'd be proud of. Since you've been gone I do everything I think you would want for me.

Since you've been gone I go to your grave just to sit and talk. I bring you flowers like you did for me all the time. I write you love notes and letters like we always used to do.

Since you've been gone I still go see your family and love them dearly and appreciate them still being a huge part of my life. They inspire me daily and help me stay on my path with Christ and remember you the best way we can.

Since you've been gone I have realized just how much I loved you and still love you today. I am so glad I took all those amazing and silly pictures with you. The pictures help me to see just how happy and inseparable we were, how much I know we still would be today if your time hadn't run out.

Since you've been gone I went back to college and learn and do all I can to live up to the wonderful woman and wife I would have made to you.

In the time you've been gone I have had to deal and learn and become a whole different person and although I am completely different I feel and have a whole new aspect of life, I know you would still love the person I am now, probably even more. I love you and miss you every single day and await the day I will come home to you. You used to say people spend their whole lives looking for a love like ours and couldn't believe how lucky we were. Our love story may not have ended like most but it was a happy and loving one in the end.

R.I.P Jacob Downey

Dec. 22, 1997 - Nov. 24, 2015

Forever my 'boo bear'

Just promoted to wings

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