I recently came back across an article I'd read awhile back about a woman named Sara who, though she suffered from chronic illness (which ended up taking her life), she lived a life that inspired and continues to inspire many. There were http://foreverymom.com/mom-gold/10-inspiring-quotes-about-choosing-joy-from-a-dying-woman-thatll-change-you-from-the-inside-out/10 quotes from her that I have reread and found very encouraging:

1) I had to lose my job, my health, my abilities and my hobbies - all the things that made me "who I was" - to see who I am.

2) I am blessed because I take nothing for granted. I love what I have instead of yearning for what I lack. I choose to be happy, and I am. It really is that simple.

3) I believe in a God who is so much bigger than I can imagine Him to be that anything is possible. I'm not wasting a moment of what is by waiting for what could be.

4) I appreciate my life because it's the one He has given to me, and I don't want to waste a moment of it wishing for anything else.

5) He knows my past, present, and future. He is surprised by nothing. He is with me, never leaves me even when I feel alone, and holds me up even when I think I am standing on my own two feet. He is good. All the time.

6) This life is not about me and my goals and my wants and my worries. Nothing about my life is about me; it's about who He needs me to be.

7) I really think we find what we are meant to do when we stop focusing on what we are kept from doing.

8) I've come to understand that the only thing I can control is whether or not I open my heart. Open it to embrace my circumstances. Open it to who He needs me to be in the here and now rather than assume happiness can come from the "If only..." and "When I get..." Open it enough to let Him in to change me here so I can be with Him there.

9) This disease has taken things from me, but it can't take away the spirit that God put inside of me, the core of who I am as long as I choose to nurture that side of myself.

10) If this is my life, if this is where I am, then this is where God is, too.

I have had multiple chronic health problems since September 2010, and though those health issues have been incredibly discouraging and hard to deal with at times, I honestly am thankful for my struggles. Oftentimes the heart behind my prayers regarding these health problems is that God would teach me a lesson, or make me more like Himself. Though I would like to be healed and return to perfect health, to not need medicine to function normally, if being in perfect health means I miss out on something God has for me I would rather stay sick so I can draw closer to Him and learn anything He wants me to learn. I know He is good; He does not delight in seeing His children sick. But He does see the big picture, and we only see the tiny details.

Being healed right now may remove future opportunities for ministry, encouragement, growth, or learning. Besides, if we always received what we wanted, always got what we prayed to God for, why would there be any reason to place all our faith or trust in Him? If He were to always give us what we claimed we wanted, we would never have to take a leap of faith in a time when we were in darkness, pain, and couldn't see or know what He was doing in us and with us. I believe firmly that struggles such as chronic health problems are meant to help us build up our trust/faith in the Lord; we just need to allow that to happen and not be resistant to that process. We need to be willing to be honest, open, vulnerable with others about the struggles we are going through, and help each other through our hard times.

I pray that, just like Sara, we can live the way she lived her life. Despite the great pain she faced, and perhaps even discouragement she faced for trusting the Lord no matter what, she pushed on, continuing to have faith in Him and love Him for who He is--regardless of what He would do for her. May we all be more like that, all more trusting of our Creator.