The world around us is full of people who can be put into general groups by different things that every person can be classified by. Not every person can say that they have an allergy or even a birthmark, but every person has a personality type, and, contrary to popular belief, there is more than just introvert and extrovert. I am what is known as an introverted extrovert.
There are many things that people like me do that make us seem outgoing or super extroverted. People don't think we are shy or even that we might just want some time to ourselves. We are the people everyone assumes we will ask the professor questions for them or even get the number of that cute guy we might have been eyeing up for hours. This is not to say that we won’t do these things, but we have to be in the moment to really understand how this works.
There are not very many of us out there and we aren’t all the same, but there are some simple truths that we know to be evident. Not all of us will agree with every one of these, but most will still apply. Here are just a few quirky things that introverted extroverts know to be true.
1. We always hope for someone else to start the conversation. Once the topic is on the table, we are more than willing to stick our noses right in and give more than our two cents. But to actually start the conversation… basically the words that come out bordering on babbling idiot.
2. We hope that people will call us first, or that they prefer email. Some people find it easy to just pick up the phone and call someone. People like me, people who dread human one-on-one, really hope they prefer email. For me, there is a standard two meeting regulation on being comfortable enough to call someone. Even then, I would still rather email them, especially because I can spend as long as I want thinking about what I would like to say. On the phone, it all just comes out the same way it does in conversation.
3. We like to have sleepovers… as long as we can sleep in our own beds. So this one is kind of weird, and for a long time I thought I was the only one, but I have since learned that this is a common thing for the “introverted extrovert.” Believe it or not, it will never be about you or your house. The truth is, we don’t like to ask for things, and just helping ourselves is out of the question, so we are usually either really uncomfortable or really hungry. Also, we will probably run into your parents at some point (if you live with them) or your roommates, and this is super awkward for us.
4. We love to go out but are secretly praying for someone to cancel. If the squad is all geared up to go out tonight, and you have assured your BFF you won’t be the one to disband your plans again, we are usually hoping we get one more chance to not go out. So we are hoping that one of the others is secretly feeling the same way, this way you don’t have to speak up and you also don’t have to go out.
5. Once we are out, we are hoping for someone else to ask to leave. Usually you’d think, you can just leave whenever, but it’s a lot easier to exit a social situation when you are with someone else. So, for me, if my roommate or my boyfriend is around, I usually spend a bit of time planting the idea of leaving in their heads so when they say “we are going to head out,” I don’t feel like I am abandoning anyone and I have definitely had enough socialization to last me the week.
Again, a lot of the things in this list may not apply to everyone. If they don’t apply to you, and you consider yourself in this category, then do not reevaluate. These are just a few things I have found that I have in common with several people who also identify this way. Being an introverted extrovert means that everyone I know will peg me as outgoing, but on the inside, I can consider myself shy.
