Coffee Shops are for Procrastinating

42 Simmering Thoughts You Have à la Coffee Shop

My favorite way to procrastinate, but do it for the aesthetic!


On, you search for that 12 AM closing time, the exposed brick wall, the glowing lights, and the one to two dollar sign price. Click on the search, set the address, and gather all the supplies you need to study for that huge exam. It's crunch time and warm, quintessential cafe vibes are the precise environment you need to feel focused. You walk into the cafe, other students with the same idea as you, laptops glowing on their tired faces. However, no matter how hard you try to fill that hipster-perfect, working-hard vibe, you think…

1. Alright, let's see. What can I get at this coffee shop?

2. Oooo, a macchiato, okay, that's pretty sweet at Starbucks. Hmmm…

3. What's really the difference between a latte and a cappuccino?

4. What the heck is THAT? A...A ab- ugh, Should I ask? I'm going to ask.

"It's just caramel and milk with a foam latte and triple espresso shots."

"I'll order that!"

5. Do I really need 3 shots of espresso? God only knows…


7. I barely have $5 in my account, ugh, bad idea bad idea. Should not have gotten the almond milk option.

8. OOOKayyy, got my drink. Now, where to sit, where to sit…it's so packed…

9. Why are people looking at me? I'm looking for a table, people!!

10. This spot is good but does

11. I probably look really dumb with my face almost to the floor for a stupid outlet.

12. Okay fine, I guess I can't sit here! Should have charged my laptop before I came.

13. Oh, great, the only available and preferred spot is this table that I'd have to share with this person.

14. They look nice, might as well"Hi! Can I sit here?"

15. Ugh, I made them take out their earphone, I am. So sorry. "Oh, huh, yeah sure go ahead."

16. Ok, cool, cool. They let me sit. Now let me just….crawl under here to plug in the outlet.

17. That took me longer than expected.

18. Alright, alright, now the WIFI.

19. Shit, I forgot to ask for the wifi. I wonder if this person can-"Sorry, do you mind watching my stuff for me?""Sure, sure, sure"

20. Here's the wifi! Imagine if it was random numbers like all those routers, hah, that would suck.

21. Alright, wifi connected! Let's get this work done… after I take this Snapchat.

22. Cute sucks though, let me just take another one…

23. Okay, okay, THIS is cute! Let me find a filter...

24. What the heck, why is there, like, not a filter for this place? Hmmm….

25. I'll just put this cute lil GIF hehehe.

26. Time! To! Study!

27. Wait let me also take an Instagram story…

28. Alright, NOW I have to study.

29. Nope, now I need to pee. Maybe I should hold it? Does this person look like they want to be bothered- oh fuck, it.

"Excuse me, do you mind watching my stuff?"

30. Wow, why did I finish $5 worth of coffee so friggin' fast?

31. Nope, okay, no one touched my computer. Good. Please do, maybe I'll have an excuse instead of finishing this paper.

32. Where are my earphones?

33. This table next to me is a LITTLE too loud.

34. Actually, they're really loud. Please stop talking.

35. I'll just choose a song… I think this playlist works.

36. The song is too distracting, skip.

37. Skip

38. Skip

39. Skip

40. FUCK I need to get this work DONE!

41. Alrighty now aanndd


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