This past week, I watched a video that promoted the organization Forgiven Ministry and their “One Day with God” program; a mission that allows children of incarcerated parents to spend a whole day with their parents as an incentive to change. It was a tear-jerking video and can be found here. Children who never get to see their dads, and even some who’ve never got to touch their dad due to visitation policies, are given the opportunity to hug their dads and squeeze a lifetime of missed companionship into one day. The dads in this program are convicted murderers, thieves, rapists, and other felons. During the program, the reconnection with their children allows them to find an incentive to change and to maintain good behavior during prison time and once they get out, to stay out of criminal activity.
Often, we take for granted the time we have with our dads. For me, my dad and I would often kick box, run, go for joyrides and watch Marvel movies together. He is, for sure, one of the most prominent men in my life, and he has shaped who I am today. When we think of the ideal American dad, we think of man who can support his family and at the same time be the perfect role model for his kids: teach his son how to treat a woman, his daughter how to be strong, and his family how to support and love each other.
When we think about incarcerated dads, most of us take the perspective that these criminals shouldn’t be allowed to see their children. But they’re not just criminals. Even if they are murderers or thieves, that is not all they are. They are dads.
They are dads to children who look to them as fathers as we look to our dads. These innocent kids are paying for the crime of their fathers by the hands of the policies implemented by the justice system. More time spent with children could offer an incentive to incarcerated parents to maintain good behavior in prison as well as benefit the children by allowing them to see their parents try to change and spend quality time with them in one of the most critical times of development in their life.
Studies show that children are more at-risk and susceptible to criminal activity if their parents are involved in any. Most kids with incarcerated parents are known to act out or result to bad behavior as a result of bad parenting, or more accurately, parenting that doesn’t exist. If incarcerated parents were allowed more leeway to keep an presence in their kids’ lives (with circumstance taken into consideration, of course), I believe that children would see these parents as an inspiration rather a disappointment.
We, as a society, need to break out of the assumption that we are protecting children by keeping them away from their criminal parents and realize that keeping children away from their parents is negatively impacting not only their family, but the society as a whole.
