Earlier this week I was in the restroom minding my own business when I had the need to type something up just to clear up my mind prior to writing this article. The long post went something like this:
I find myself at a halt. Quincy do you choose to continue to look at your future of you working with your passion and continue to be happy as God intends (so I think that's how he would like us to be) or to submit unto this world, friends, parents and authorities and conform to what I'm being told? I'd like to think that I'm moving somewhere. I'd like to that I'm growing and moving toward a goal that is mine, but there is always something that tells me that you're not doing something right. So much of what I'm good at isn't necessarily anything scholarly, or at least, I don't know if it is. I'm good at making people laugh and entertaining people however, that's not exactly my forte unless I'm within conversation—so stand up wouldn't be my strong point. I'm good at video games (the ones you actually have to have some skill to play), but I don't have what I need to be able to pursue something in that, at least not yet. I can talk about games and business and crap like that with a strong passion, yet since it's not a "real job," I'm looked at often as just a dreamer. In which case I could agree, and my dreams have led me to a hole. I'm going to finish college, that's a given, but I've managed to screw myself over and over like an adult film, but instead of loosening up...crap gets harder and I don't understand why I do that to myself. I dream, and maybe that's it and I can see why people lose sight of what they want to do. I'm not losing sight of my dream, I've done the research. I'm not losing sight of college, but I do regret more and more decisions as time goes by. And maybe not regret, but I wish I knew what I wanted beforehand; I yearned for that college experience, but it's like high school to me and I'm not a real college student (in my eyes), and that's my fault from the start, I know. Reflection is important and I'm just looking at what I've done. Besides, I need evidence for myself that I've been thinking.
It caused some concern, and to even myself. However, I'm doing okay. Hilariously enough, I was actually in the restroom typing that out. By in the restroom, I mean using the restroom. I greatly appreciate everyone that wanted to say something and did say something. It doesn't go unnoticed. As a writer and as a poet, besides my name, I'd like to say I'd brand as Simply Solace. The title of this article though states a silent solace. Why? I'll expand on that in the future, but it has to do with that word solace. That post didn't seem anything of happiness, and it wasn't; yet, there was more of a curious motif in my head that I present to myself. I'm quietly cracking a smile, but damn can I write well in the dark.
