1. You have become the snobbiest version of yourself: the coffee here tastes like dirt-water, your first bottle of $6 wine makes you want to cry, and the pastries might as well be clumps of dried flour.
2. Leaving your house in pajamas gives you anxiety, until you realize that nobody on a college campus will stare when you emerge disheveled.
3. You have a desperate urge to sit in the campus quad, but know it will only make you miss your iconic piazza that much more. It just isn't the same.
4. Going out before midnight feels like a crime, mostly because you haven't finished dinner until after 10. So you stay home.
5. You realize Nutella is different in America, and have never felt more betrayed.
6. You wonder who had the audacity to change the recipe forpizza in America. Why is the tomato sauce globbed on?! What is this fluffy shit they call a crust?! Where the is the sliced mozzarella? SO MANY QUESTIONS, SUCH DISSAPOINTMENT. And you remember the days where sharing a pizza was ludicrous...
7. You host regular aperitivo, even if you're the only one who shows up. Because you miss this more than almost anything else.
8. Except speaking Italian. You miss that every day. You develop super-sensitive hearing, and can recognize it from across the room - but quickly realize Italian people here don't want to converse with you while you struggle through broken sentences. Still, you find ways to incorporate your favorite phrases and hand gestures, and obnoxiously pronounce Italian words with an accent. Avete capito?
9. You've become the master of dodging street vendors.
10. Upon your return, you walk into a grocery store, and attempt to buy a bottle of wine. You're quickly reminded that this is super illegal (T-MINUS 2 WEEKS).
11. You are perpetually frustrated by public transportation. What do you mean there's no train?!
12. PDA no longer freaks you out.
13. Everything Italian in America irritates you. You spend 7 minutes explaining the proper way to make a cappuccino to the barista. You yell at the movie that tries to portray an Italian stereotype. You nearly die when you see spaghetti and meatballs on a menu at an Italian restaurant. And all your friends hate you for it.
14. You miss waking up to the breathtaking views, and being constantly surrounded by thousands of years of history, art, and culture.
15. Your fear of carbs is a thing of the past. Pasta gives you life, and nobody will convince you otherwise.
16. You've forgotten how to politely stand in line. Note to self: shoving to the front is not acceptable on this side of the Atlantic.
17. You've become adapted to "Italian time." Re-learning to be on time to things is the greatest challenge you've tackled since puberty.
18. You miss being able to eat an entire meal for 2 euro. Kebabs are scarce, Arancini are few, and the cheapest loaded panino you'll find will set you back $8.
19. You now know people are kind at heart. Italian hospitality and generosity makes you believe in the good of people again.
Compliments of a stranger
20. No adventure or excursion seems too daunting: spontaneous travel and last minute trips breathe life into you. You know you can handle whatever is thrown your way. And after spending a night in Roma Termini, nothing will ever scare you again.
...and you know it won't be long before you're back.
