The definition of an "old married couple" is as follows: two people who have known each other for so long that they feel a little bit too comfortable with each other... so much so, that the very nature of their relationship continues to age faster than they do. If you and your best friend have known each other for a long time, you may experience some (or all) symptoms of the "old married couple" syndrome. But don't worry! For many, it's simply inevitable. Here are the signs that you and your best friend are becoming every college student's worst nightmare: an old married couple.
1. You buy new clothes or shoes based on what the other person already has.
2. You can basically talk through telepathy. Can you believe that? Look at what she's wearing! Will you make me some cookies?
3. You can't go grocery shopping without the other. It just feels wrong.
4. Your "pillow talk" is both deep and nonsensical.
5. You bicker about everything. From leaving a light on, to remembering to lock the door, to what time you should get to an event.
6. You critique each other's driving. When you're in the passenger seat, you are basically the all-knowing, holy mecca of knowledge on any and everything dealing with the road.
7. You make each other food. Hey, you want a hot pocket? Yes.
8. You always match accidentally. And you're both too lazy to change so you just leave looking like you matched on purpose.
9. You go to dinner and both order the exact same thing. Every time.
10. You basically share a bank account. There is no "pay me back," it's just all an "I owe you" at this point.
11. You watch all the same TV shows... and you have to watch them together.
12. You sleep more than the average bear. And neither of you judges the other for sleeping so much or taking two naps a day.
13. You've reached the point where silence is no longer awkward. It's actually pretty coveted.
14. You have to have the other's approval before purchasing something. Would this look cute in the den? Do I need this shirt?? Text me back NOW, I'm about to check out!!!
15. Basically speaking to each other in your own language. And laughing at those struggling to keep up with the two of you in a conversation.
16. You laugh hysterically at any and every thing, and neither of you remember why you were laughing five minutes later.
17. Allowing the other person to tell you the same story that they've already told you 5 times. And pretending that they haven't already told you.
18. You like to compete with each other about whose back/ knees/ joints pop more. Did you hear that??? That was my hip!! Ha!
19. You find a little too much joy in just sitting around and playing cards or board games.
20. You have enough memories together to outnumber an actual couple who have been married for more than 50 years.
So if you and your best friend have experienced any of the signs on this list, don't fret! You and Ethel will be the most lively old married couple walking around your college campus. And take these things as a good sign! They only mean that you and your best friend have a great relationship, and are on your way to a happy retirement after you graduate.
