As the holiday season has finally wound down a bit (save for Valentine's Day, a horror all its own) we are finally able to breath a sigh of relief and kiss our families goodbye for another semester. Quality time with your family is priceless, dramatic (at times), fun (at other times) and painfully exhausting. For some college students, holiday breaks serve as a way to remind us why we left home in the first place. Returning to your hometown is bittersweet, it's never going to be the same as it was when you were an acne-ridden teen with a car that reeked of weed and McDonald's. Over time you and your friends have grown up, your town has changed (for better or worse) and being back home just doesn't feel like it used to. Long gone are high school nights when you and your friends drove aimlessly around your boring-ass town and somehow still managed to have fun. Your hazy memories from your childhood are just that, memories. For me, it took me a while to come to terms with this.
When you go home for the holidays freshman year, it's exciting, you get to see all your friends for the first time since the end of the summer. Maybe you were even a bit homesick for your family, or your favorite late-night burger place or your hometown in general. Sophomore year is a bit different, maybe you haven't kept in touch with those friends like you promised, your family starts ragging on you to pick a career, those burgers aren't the same as you remember. Time treads on and by your junior year you have trouble recognizing your town at all; you might have a handful of friends milling about somewhere and your family is enjoyable until they drive you crazy with questions about your future.
I went back home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year; my immediate family (save for my sister who lives in Indonesia) all live in my hometown of Raleigh. It's great, it's convenient, but it's a lot to handle at once. I have three sisters, who have three husbands and six kids between them. And that doesn't even begin to include my grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends who all reside within a 15-mile radius of my house. I'm the youngest of five sisters, and if you think it's hard to balance spending time with your family and catching up with old friends, you have no idea. Every hour of every single day of my visit is meticulously planned, and I'm far from the kind of person who desires that sort of precision in their day-to-day life. The mornings I spend with one of my sisters and her offspring, afternoons I pencil in my mom or dad for a meal (not simultaneously, they're divorced) and the evenings I save for my friends, if I can even get myself out of bed.
My advice to anyone who deals with this when they go home for the holidays is to make time for yourself. It's easier said then done, but it will save you many emotional meltdowns. Yes, you want to see your loved ones in the short time you have, but you have to take care of yourself first. No one wants to spend time with someone who is constantly freaking out about having enough time to cram several visits into one day. Setting aside time to decompress is crucial to maintaining your sanity (especially to those introverts out there). I usually opt to take a walk, read a book or even watch an hour or two of Netflix. Just take a deep breath, plan wisely, and if possible, invite multiple people to one visit to get it all done in one full sweep. It can be difficult at times, but it can be done.
Visits home are a challenge bigger than finals week, and if I'm not the only one who feels this way, then congrats, dear reader, on surviving another holiday season at home. Hug your roommates, take a shot, enjoy your freedom, and tell your mom you love her.
