People apologize when something bad happens or when they do something wrong. Saying "I'm sorry" is a normal thing that our parents taught us to do, but it becomes bad when we start apologizing for things that we shouldn't be.
I am constantly apologizing for things that I shouldn't be. It actually causes problems in my relationships. If I think that I am being weird or inconveniencing someone even a little bit, then I will say sorry. Since I'm 12 hours away from home, I typically talk to my boyfriend or friends when something is wrong. Throughout these conversations, I would apologize for different reasons. They would, of course, tell me it's fine. This isn't something I started to do in college. I've always done it. One day my boyfriend sent me a video on Facebook saying that we should start saying "thank you" more and "I'm sorry" less. I thought that these apologies would make me nicer or something, I don't know, but they really didn't do anything.
I eventually figured out that I was saying sorry all of the time because I was scared that the people around me were going to leave or I was bothering them. I really care about the people around me and I often think that their issues are more important than mine. I thought that by venting to them, they would think that I was dismissing their problems. I would apologize even when nothing was wrong. If I was really excited about something or didn't something weird or wanted to do something, I would say "I'm sorry that I'm _____." I was apologizing because of habits I had that didn't affect others or because I simply liked something. People would even tell me to stop saying sorry, then I would apologize for apologizing.
After Tom sent me the video, it really started to hit me that I had people outside of my family who genuinely cared about what was going on in my life. I've started saying "thank you" because I wanted to show them appreciation. I shouldn't have been apologizing for simply existing or having problems. If I do something wrong or if something goes wrong, I will say "I'm sorry." I spent a lot of time bottling things up and walking on eggshells when I should have been open. I am so much happier now. I still apologize for useless things sometimes, but now I am showing the people around me that I appreciate them more and more each day.
Never be afraid to exist and be yourself. Stop apologizing for things that don't really matter. Show the people around you that you care about them and that you appreciate them. It will do more good to say "thank you" than "sorry."
