Life is crazy sometimes. I get wrapped up in my life, my “major” decisions, the passing emotions of a college culture, but you are always on the other side of the phone, listening, advising, loving. I neglect you, I recognize that. You have supported me emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically for nearly 22 years, so I am here to publicly declare just how much you mean to me.
I remember some of those core memories and a kid or young teenager, ones where I learned telling the truth was far better than lying, ones where I learned that being present for someone in hard time is good enough, ones where I learned that no matter how badly I screw up, I will never be alone. Not everyone is that lucky, that loved, that respected, but you made sure that I was and that I knew it.
I sit here today, talking to you, telling you of all the “life-altering” issues I’ve encountered in the past week as you listen patiently, thinking to yourself how much you love me, how everything is going to be OK, how you are frustrated that something so small in the scheme of things can be so emotionally devastating for me. Your patience and sense of humor are unbelievable. I remember an emotional breakdown in the midst of junior year where you forced me to stop everything and find three things I love about myself. That was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and it made the difference, it forced me to find perspective, to find love, to find the spark in the darkness. Only parents have those nuggets of wisdom, and it fills my heart with joy to be able to throw them back at you when life is hard... "You know, a wise man once told me..."
But you’re even better than that. You want the best for me, you make that clear. You expect so much from me, yet I can never manage to truly disappoint you. You want life to be easy, good, comfortable, but if I told you that I wanted to flip burgers at McDonald’s for a living, there is no doubt in my mind that you would support me (good thing you raised me to have ambition, huh?). So many young adults live with a world of pressure and expectations of what they should do in life from the previous generation, but in my whirlwind journey to figure it out, you have supported me, let me make mistakes, let me miss opportunities, but mostly, you gave me the privilege of deciphering my own path. That is a rare gift that means more to me than you could ever know.
We both know I am long winded, but it’s hard to put into words exactly what I am trying to say. In an effort to keep it short and sweet, thank you. Thank you for everything you did, do, and will do. Thank you for the conscious and unconscious actions which drive my life forward. Thank you for loving me, for always being my fallback, for being so willing to support my hopes and dreams. I love you, truly.
