I am the type of person who tries to conquer everything by myself. After all, no body knows better than me how I like to have things done, I work better when I'm alone, and I take pride in constantly proving that I can do well with whatever I set my mind to.
Needless to say, that mindset can get pretty exhausting; when you're perpetually striving to impress everybody by outperforming your own set standards, and when you train yourself to think that the only way to succeed is by shouldering every burden, you start to feel worn out. But even though I'm finally able to recognize how these deeply-rooted habits have become self destructive, there was once a time when those thoughts convinced me that I would not - could not - get help.
That being said, if you're the type of person who feels the need to fight an ever-present battle against your own expectations, know that I understand how impossible it might feel to take that first step by initiating therapy. It often feels intimidating and vulnerable to admit that you need guidance or support, especially when you've built a strong and confident persona that you constantly feel the need to uphold. But once you finally cross that threshold - taking that big leap toward caring for your own mind and body - you'll come to find that facing your fear is well worth it, regardless of how difficult the journey may be.
In a nutshell, visiting a therapist is a lot like confiding in a journal: it's a private place where you can discuss something as simple as your weekend plans, or where you can delve into topics as deep as your emotional well-being. Of course, most treatments won't ever start with the heavy; you'll need to build a bond of sincere trust between you and your newfound therapist, potentially helping you to decide that whoever you're seeing just isn't the doctor for you! But once you finally find someone who is compassionate, intelligent, and a good fit for your personality, you'll feel yourself start to settle in.
From there, therapy sessions are entirely in your own control. Even though the doctor might occasionally challenge you to explore new questions or approaches to whatever conflict you're facing, you will often do the talking while he or she does the listening. Furthermore, this dynamic is helpful in how it forces you to face your demons; the more you push yourself to talk about them, the more you'll start to accept or even overcome them! So while therapy will leave you with important coping mechanisms to practice in your day-to-day life, in itself, therapy is an excellent source of empowerment.
That all being said, there's no denying that therapy is an on-going challenge. Although I've been with my doctor for the better part of a year, each nearing appointment feels just as overwhelming as the last. All the same, I now know that my anxiety is natural and only because we're making progress with many significant issues; our weekly sessions are helping me to confront things that are difficult but important to acknowledge. So even though I may feel panic whenever I set off for the Wellness Center, I know that it's for a good reason. And as soon as I sit down in the comfort of my therapist's office, I know I'm in good hands.
All things considered, I hope you'll take my advice to heart when I say that you don't have to face your troubles alone. There are recourses at your disposal, as well as people who live to help you; why are you any less worthy of being cared for? If you are struggling with something, reach out. And if you feel that your life is in danger, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at any hour of the day: 1-800-273-8255. You are loved, and you are strong.
