Our vocabulary is constantly changing as time goes on and we live in a culture that is constantly redefining words, creating new slang. Most of the time these new popular uses of words are harmless, often comical and amusing. Others though can be a bit touchy and offensive depending on who you're speaking with. You see, we all grow up differently--different families, different backgrounds, different social settings and importantly, different terminologies.

Having moved to a prominently liberal college this last year, I heard the term "PC" a lot. Not quite knowing what it meant other than what it stood for I decided to look it up on Urban Dictionary and I was astonished with what I found:

For those of you who don't know, Urban Dictionary is an online dictionary where anyone is able to create definitions for different words, thus keeping up to date how different words are being used in our ever changing culture. Keeping this in mind, It confused me how someone could write a definition for a word that means "words that will not cause controversy" and in the same definition use a word that causes controversy.

Medically, the word "retarded" was originally defined in reference to a person with a mental disability called "Mental Retardation." Unfortunately it has become yet another controversial slang word used often as a synonym for being stupid or even slow. For many, the r-word can feel very hurtful and personal when used this way which is why it is such a controversial word.

In preparation for this article I contacted a family friend by the name of Todd Elia, Todd has a 20 year-old son by the name of Nicholas who has multiple special needs and medical issues. His current diagnoses are: autism, mild mental retardation, cerebral palsy, hypotonia, dysphagia, epilepsy, heart condition, scoliosis, gastroparesis, and he is non-verbal.

Pictured: Nick 11/1/2015

So why should people stop using the word "retarded"? I asked Todd his opinion on the r-word and he nicely put it by saying:

"Using it as a synonym for stupid, idiotic, useless, ineffective or foolish is the same as saying that my son is all of those things. If a person uses the word to describe a place, a thing, or a situation, I feel the same as if it were used on a person."

Using the word as a synonym isn't just hurtful for those who are medically associated with it, I know first hand that the r-word hits home for their loved ones too. The r-word can cause many people to become upset and defensive, if you are one of these people I recommend reading further to identify new ways of addressing this issue.

Since we all grow up differently, there are many people who find the r-word to be an acceptable everyday synonym. As someone who grew up in a family with very "PC" terminology, and as someone who has a mentally-disabled uncle, I have always found the r-word to be very derogatory. Even just writing the word out in this article has been making me cringe, so there is no doubt that when i hear people use the word i call them out on it. After talking with Todd i started questioning how i should confront someone who is using the word inappropriately and found the following to be very helpful...

"Do I feel anger when people use the r-word? Of course I do. The solution is to not act out of anger. Most people are not using the word out of malice and it wouldn't help anyone to respond with malice. I keep calm, pray, and meditate. With strangers, I prefer to show them that my son is not that different from them, and he is loved and cherished and that using that word marginalizes him and the people who love and care about him."

The most important thing to remember is to stand up for what you believe in, no matter the response you may get. I recommend not trying to dance around the subject but to be straight forward and let the person know how it makes you feel when they say the r-word. This is true for anything that upsets you, don't be afraid to let those close to you know when something they are doing is hurting you because It's always better to handle any situation earlier on rather than wait before it's too late for repair.

Special thanks to my loving Uncle Kevin who inspired me to write this article and advocate everyday to end the use of the r-word.

Picture taken October 2013