For my first article with Odyssey, I had a hard time brainstorming what to write about. I was at a fraternity party earlier today and it helped me realize what I want to write about this week: social awkwardness. Now some of you may experience this on the daily, even by just standing in line at Wendy's. Some situationally, and some have never experienced this at all.
For me, I experience this with big crowds of people, I freeze up and I have no idea who to approach. I find myself weaving through everyone, walking in circles. I'll pretend I'm on the phone with someone, attempt to look occupied. Or just awkwardly stand next to people hoping I'll be joined into the conversation somehow. I've even gone into the bathroom to call my friends.
This past semester I babysat for a family about six days a week for two boys, one recently turned two and the other is seven. One of many things I learned from these two amazing kids is that kids have a naturally free, innocent spirit with limited insecurities. The baby would run up to me every day I picked him up from the daycare and it felt like a sincere love. The older boy would help random old ladies whenever we went to the grocery store and give them a big hug. Where in some of us, does this outgoing, conquering part of us go to as we mature?
What happens is we develop insecurities, and they eventually develop into fears. It can be us letting the voices inside our heads take over, distrusting ourselves, or listening to negative talk from our peers. Everyone has them, it's just whether we choose to let them take over our life. Making a choice to overcome, or change a pattern of behavior is easier said than done. The fear is the part that holds us back, and if we fear something enough we can manifest it in our lives.
What I can say is the times I have chosen to overcome it, I feel much better than hopping in an Uber and sitting in my apartment. I build up the fear in my head, making everything seem much more intimidating than it actually is. I've noticed when I go up to someone and just immediately give them a compliment, it opens up a door to common interests, and then a light conversation.
Going back to my point on everything is easier said than done, today I chose to call the Uber and come back to my apartment. I immediately regretted it, wondering if I should hop back into one again and go back to the party. It also gave me inspiration for this article, though, so I saw that even though I did choose to go home, I still got some beneficial insight on the matter, and to finish some homework I had been procrastinating on.
