As if being a broke 20-year-old college student isn't stressful enough, I am a broke 20-year-old female college student.
What does being female have to do with anything? To the average person, it'd look like females have it made in college. We get free drinks and free rides, so what's the problem?
I am scared every second of every day of my life that I am in public. What is sad about that is: I have been taught to be scared. I have been taught to be cautious and humble and to not call attention to myself. I have been taught how to do life in a way that keeps me submissive and caged in. Nobody has taught others how to live in a way that doesn't put me in danger.
If you think this sounds insane, every mentioned incident listed below has happened in real life on more than one occasion. It is a scary and twisted planet we live in, but nobody seems to be doing anything about it.
I should not have to be afraid of a friendly gesture turning into an attack on my being. I should not have to be afraid to accept a drink from a stranger in fear of it being drugged. I should not have to be afraid of accepting a ride home with a man in fear of being taken advantage of.
I should not have to be afraid of the dark. I should not have to call my mom or my boyfriend while I'm walking home in the dark because I'm afraid of being followed or harassed. I should not have to be afraid to go to my car at night in fear of someone lurking around the corner (yes, this has happened).
I should not have to lock my car while I'm inside for fear of being attacked. Whether I'm at a stop light or in a parking lot, I should not have to be afraid of an unwelcome guest entering my car. There have been articles published warning women not to sit in their cars in parking lots because predators will use it as a moment to attack. But yet, there have been no articles published saying MAYBE DON'T ATTACK INNOCENT PEOPLE TRYING TO GO ABOUT THEIR DAY.
I should not have to be afraid of being objectified. I so vividly remember walking down the isle of a grocery store one day during my freshman year of college. I was wearing a t-shirt two sizes too large and a pair of Nike shorts, no make up, hair up in a bun I had slept in the night before. I was walking down the main isle when I turned to see an old, scraggly, toothless man yelling "Wooooh-EEE!" and a very embarrassed teenager next to him, who hit him and whispered that he was going to get arrested if he didn't stop. Here I was just trying to buy deodorant, minding my own business, and being turned into a sexual object in the meantime. I was not looking for attention, nor did I want it. My outfit was not provoking in any way; I was completely innocent.
I should not have to be afraid of my friends or I being taken advantage of while enjoying a night out. I should not have to be afraid of encountering the Brock Turners of the world. I should not have to be afraid of a friendly conversation turning into a rape or a sexual assault of any kind. I should not be afraid of being overpowered and being forced to perform sexual acts against my will.
Yet here I am, afraid every day of my life. Over time, the world has taught people that this behavior is normal. The world has taught girls just like me to live a life in fear and to be cautious of provoking predators. God forbid I wear my favorite shorts or wear a tank top when its 100 degrees outside. God forbid I wear a little more make up than usual. God forbid I have one drink too many, because I could find myself locked in a frat bedroom or in an alleyway being forced against my will to do things I am not proud of. (Again, yes, this has happened to people in my life.)
It is time to denormalize making prey out of women. I should not have to be afraid.
