A few weeks ago, Heterosexual Pride Day was a trending topic on Twitter during Pride Month; many straight people were upset that they did not have their own pride day when other sexualities do. Their argument being that if all sexualities are equal, then straight pride should exist. I mean, the world seems to be more and more inclusive everyday for the LGBT+ community. With the help of straight allies, gay marriage has been legalized in all 50 states. What more could we want? After all, gay people will never know what it's like to be straight or know the struggles of straight people.
Let's break this down. Most gay people grow up thinking they're straight. Many never even "come out" to family or friends, so the world perceives them as being straight. The world treats the LGBT+ community as if they are straight until they say otherwise. I think they know what it's like to be cisgender and/or heterosexual.
Just for the sake of this argument though, let's pretend they knew since birth that they weren't straight and that the world treated them as if them weren't. Let's say they never experienced your struggles, straight people.
As a member of the LGBT+ community, you're right. I will never know what it's like to have unequal media representation. How awful that must be for you. When I saw Finding Dory, I was thrilled to see what appeared to be a lesbian couple shown briefly in the film. I can't imagine what it's like to hardly ever see a straight person on TV.
Oh, wait.
Or what about the fact that you sometimes get called a "breeder"? I have no clue how that feels. It's not like gay and queer are used as insults multiple times a day around me. There aren't any slurs for me to reclaim like f*g or d*ke.
Oh, wait.
Well, what about coming out to your friends and family? You definitely beat us there. Being a part of the LGBT+ community is so normalized by now that you don't even have to say anything to your parents. Everyone just assumes you're gay or transgender. We don't know what it's like to be scared out of your mind when you confess to your loved ones that you are straight.
Oh, wait.
That doesn't mean that heterophobia doesn't still exist though! The LGBT+ community would never know what it's like to be kicked out of the house for being straight or cisgender because of intolerant parents. We certainly don't know what it's like to mourn the loss of 60 straight brothers and sisters after they were brutally murdered for hanging out at the popular straight bar in your city and then have the general media claim it wasn't a hate crime after all.
Oh, wait.
Even so, we don't know how it feels to be different in our society because our identities are normalized. Our bars aren't labeled with our sexuality like straight bars are. We don't have our sexualities generalized like straight people do because being straight is "basically like being bisexual." We don't have to face ridicule for asking for a straight Disney princess and be told to "stop shoving your sexuality down my throat" even though all of the other princesses are gay along with most of the other characters.
Oh, wait.
You didn't need a Heterosexual Pride Day until we wanted a Pride Month. Being heterosexual is already normal. You don't need a day to claim your pride because the world has told you since you were a kid that being straight is acceptable. This doesn't mean you should be ashamed of being straight. You just need to recognize that the LGBT+ community faces issues that you don't. We grew up learning being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, etc. was wrong. Pride Month is for us to go and spread the word that it's not wrong, but that it's something to be proud of.
Heterosexual Pride Day makes it seem like you think we don't need a Pride Month, to speak up against violence, or to stop discrimination. It feels like you are telling us that "it could be worse" so we should just stop fighting to be completely equal. It feels like you are telling us that we all face the same discrimination and that violent hate crimes against us should be held with the same weight as someone calling you a "breeder" on Twitter. It feels like you are telling us that we should give up because straight people will still have more to be proud of.
I know that's not how most of you mean it, but that's how it feels. At the end of the day, it's OK if you made mistakes in the past as long as you realize them and apologize. We don't hate you, straight people. We just need you to stop speaking over us. More often than not, it's straight allies that help us gain traction for our movements because other straight people are more likely to listen to you than us. We need you to help us, but this isn't the way. Raising awareness and donating to charities are all much better ways to gain equality.
Love is Love is Love is Love. We will support you, straight people; but right now, we need your help to be proud more than you might think. So please, tell your friends not to tweet about Heterosexual Pride Day, and thanks for being an ally.
