She has a quirky almost earlier 2000 style that she walks semi-confident in. Her light pink sweater and white Nike shoes scream "iCarly" era and they give her the appearance of a girl in her late teens but she is almost 22.
Her hair is in an awkward bun slightly to her right. She wants to let it down but all the different color dyes finally washed out and she hasn't had time to retouch.
Her glasses are scratched up from each fall and accident she has been apart of (there's been a few). She is rather average in every other way. You couldn't say she was either or on anything.
Sometimes she wore makeup that filled her brows, blushed her cheeks and gave depth to her already sunken eyes.
She seemed tired but when you spoke to her, you could swear that she slept early the day before. She didn't. I asked her why.
"It's not that I don't want sleep. I try but my mind doesn't want to take a rest."
I asked her what her mind keeps wondering about.
"Nothing and then everything. I could stare at the ceiling and swear only a minute has passed and suddenly it's 10 p.m or I could only phantom about the future and have five minutes feel like three hours."
The sun was setting and we were all alone so I asked her with as much sincerity that my voice can offer, "Are you happy?"
She gave a soft smile and then began to cry. she looked at me and apologized.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"Because I let you down. I let you down when you needed me the most. I turned my back on you in middle school. That was when everything started."
'It's okay. You're here now."
"For how long? Another day? Until the sun comes back up? I should have loved you for everything you were. I should have been there when you felt you needed to change to get his attention or stay apart of their stupid circle."
She cried some more.
"If I begin to lose touch with you again, promise me you'll remember that I love you? That to me you are beautiful. Your style is a part of you and that loving and being in love with people is okay. Promise me that you won't hurt yourself again?"
"I can't." I cried back. "Please stay for five seconds and then when those five seconds end, please stay for five more and again. And again. I want you to stay. You are the greatest parts of me. You are sunshine and motivation. You are inspiration and positivity. You are everything I was.
