After wasting the umpteenth hour on Youtube watching spoken word videos, I came across a poem called “The Friend Zone” by Desiree Dallagiacomo and Justin Lamb. They describe the epidemic that is male entitlement in a clever, sassy way that I absolutely adore. It is full of sarcasm that cuts like a knife. I, as a young woman, found their words to have an absolute, undeniable truth that I need to not only share, but expand on as well.
To the boys who complain about being in the “Friend Zone”:
Please stop talking. You are making yourself look more and more ignorant the more that you complain. As Dallagiacomoa and Lamb state: I do not owe you anything.
I do not owe you sexual favors, my body, my time or my love because you are kind to me. Friendship is not about settling the score, or you getting what you have decided you are entitled to. Kindness, generosity, and being a gentleman does not mean that I am obligated to give you anything back except equal respect, kindness and generosity. Since when did it drop out of our comprehension that a man and a woman can just be friends without any ulterior motives? Is it such a crazy idea that we are a generation that isn’t driven by a sexual desire, but instead by selflessness and love for a fellow human being?
Let’s change the stigma that surrounds men of our age. Let’s prove others that we can love and respect each other without a need to “screw” each other every second of every day. Help change the impression that we women have of you… from immature boys who whine about friendships, to mature gentleman who have goals beyond a one night stand. Goals that include getting to know me for my interests, morals and personality.
This is something that goes beyond the “friend zone.” This is an issue that transcends a trend or a twitter hashtag. It’s time that the friend zone goes back to its intended purpose: as a light-hearted joke for guys to use to insult each other… in a loving way, of course!
"You act like the Friendzone is the worst place ever. But there are plenty of worse places. Like a Waffle House bathroom at 3 am. The Elephant Graveyard — you must never go there Simba — all 9 Circles of Hell."
