I didn't choose the short life, the short life chose me. All my life I've been vertically challenged, and at this point in time I don't think I can stretch anymore. The final inches to ride a roller coaster took forever, and with me finally at an acceptable height to do most everything, I'll accept I'm not growing anymore. Gravity is forcing me down for a reason, and whether it's a great reason or not, I'm proud to be a topic everyone crazes and blogs about. We're our own problem. Short people problems. Height is just a number, but to us, it's more than that. It's a lifestyle. Being short doesn't always have its perks, or does it?
1. Being a personal arm rest
Acquiring such a height should be rewarding. Unfortunately, the rewards are not for you just yet, but for your tall friends. The skyscrapers you've grown (barely) to love. Being at an elbow's reach helps towering friends and family happily help themselves to your little head and rest their arm on top.
2. A crowd topper
Now didn't I say perks? Being a fun-sized package makes you easy to lift and be placed on top of friends' shoulders to see above the crowd. Even if you're in the back row of a concert, being twice your height can feel like you're touching the stars.
3. How old am I today?
Another question, another story. Being your own short stack can have benefits to you, but also to your parents. Having the cute pre-teen face can bring you advantages, but being 19 and 12 on the same day can be rough. Kids 12 and under eat free? Bring it on! New job with 30-year-olds? I swear I'm not a lost child in the store.
4. Cooking is a hassle.
Why can't every utensil be in my arm's reach? Why is the top of the refrigerator a storage place? I have to climb three counters, two ,mountains, and a tree to get to the bowls and risk a broken foot on the way down. I think I'll take that 12 and under menu now.
5. You feel like a doll trying on clothes.
Trying on shirts and pants are nightmares because not only do they change sizes between brands, they change lengths too. You try on a regular shirt and it transforms into a dress and those extra large shirts you get for free are your new night gowns. Those jeans you just tried on scrunch up at the bottom so you have to fold and fold and fold them up. Can I just fit into the children's clothes for cheaper?
6. You're lost in the abundance of heads...and shoulders. Knees and toes?
Sometimes it's said as a joke when they're standing right next to you, but other times, you're actually lost in the center of the crowd. Will the real short girl please stand up? Oh, she already is?
7. Top-loaders were made by tall people
Seriously! How can you possibly reach the bottom of the dryer to get your little socks out? I'm just going to have to crawl in there myself.
8. A 5-foot pool is to your nose
It's that moment you forget your head is a part of your five-foot height and jump in to find out those extra three inches count for your forehead and eyes.
9. You get to swing your feet.
Tall people don't have as much fun this time. When you sit down, of course your feet don't touch the ground, so have fun and swing those legs.
10. We pray someone doesn't sit in front of us at the movies.
Those non-ascending movie theater seats are obviously made by the tallest of people because once someone sits in front of us, all we see is a silhouette of head and hair. Afros if applicable.
11. Step-stools are our BFF
Not only are diamonds our best friend, step-stools take us far. Need help getting that book? Need help getting into bed? They have your back!
Being short may be a gift, but it can also be an inconvenience. Fortunately for us, we've dealt with it own whole lives and nothing can bring us down! (Just don't mention gravity around us.)
This is dedicated to my short friends. We've always seen eye to eye.
