I am a Registered Nurse. I work the night shift. My life is not like yours. I work twelve hour shifts then come home and sleep all day. It can’t be THAT different, right? In theory I just sleep on a different schedule. If you believe that then ask yourself these questions:
Does your postman wake you up at midnight because he needs a signature for a package?
Do you go to pick your kids up from school at 3 a.m.?
Do your friends and family send you an “Are you awake?” message at 2 a.m. or say, “I figured you’d be up by now. It’s 4 a.m.!” with that hint of disapproval in their voice?
Do you sleep with a noise machine because your neighbor mows his lawn at 1 a.m. and you need to drown out the noise?
Are the curtains in your bedroom black?
Do you set an alarm clock for 3 a.m. so that you can call businesses before they close at 5?
Do you feel guilty because you wanted to get six hours of sleep today instead of four?
My children are probably stronger than your children, not because I did some miraculous child rearing, but because they have to survive alone. They cannot run to me on any given day and solicit advice for day to day teenage problems. They figure things out on their own and save the really big stuff for me. My children cannot ask me questions in the daytime. They do not have permission, because I will agree to anything in my sleep.
My children get rides to and from sporting events and after school activities if they want to go, and I see the judgmental stares when I finally make one and look like I just rolled out of bed. They eat a lot of frozen dinners because Mom is just too tired to cook at her 5 a.m., and is running out the door to get to work on time. Why don’t I just work day shift? To be perfectly honest, the night shift pays more, and I need more. And, before you judge me, yes it is worth it.
To my children I would like to say I’m so sorry that:
I missed your game…again….because I was sleeping after working the night shift.
You had a play at school, but I work tonight and the little bit of sleep I get can save a life so I cannot come…again.
I worked last night, so even though it’s Saturday, we cannot shop for that dress you need, because it is not safe for me to drive you around when I am this exhausted.
You are gone to school before I get up and I am gone for work before you get home.
I spend my days off fussing because the house is dirty, when I really know it’s my fault.
Just know that I appreciate you for being so understanding and that I am so very proud of every accomplishment that you have worked so hard for. Every success you have lets me know that I am not failing at life. Also know, that even though I miss a lot of your very important milestones, I am doing this for you. I promise you that someday, I will be the BEST grandparent ever!
