In my opinion... scratch that... in everyone's opinion, it is okay judge others. We cannot help it. Our brains do it instantly and we have no control over it. Now there is there a wide variety of what we do with that snapshot decision. A great example of our own responses can be taken from the popular singing show "American Idol." We have one judge who is kind to everyone and whose opinion was rarely taken seriously. We have one who could go either way, but generally didn't care and thus didn't matter as much as the third — The bold, brash (and some may call harsh) judge.
This judge's opinion was always the hardest on people but came with the reward of being the most respected. The funny thing is that he was always the one who said the things everyone was thinking. Like he somehow could tap into that instant decision his brain made and trust himself enough to let them know how he felt. This is who I intend to be with this article. I want to show that shame is a good thing to feel and can help with your progress as a person. It's time to give judging people a chance. It's time to speak out on what we are all thinking. Maybe we are acting like the kind judge and don't want to help start the change for something better in our peers. It's time to be like MLK jr and be the voice of the people. Here is a list of things okay to judge to steer you in the right direction. Hopefully, together we use shame for the greater good and help people better their life when they realize what they really are.
It's okay to judge...
The 27-year-old working at tanning salon
This self-delusional type person probably gets over 100 likes on her Instagram posts and that's what keeps her warm at night. Not an education, money, or even the attempts at bettering herself. We can feel free to judge due to the fact that she helps in realizing she isn't going to score her dream husband because no guy wants to seriously date a girl pushing 30 with no career, no education, and probably lots of debt. Also, time to call them out on posting so many "inspirational" quotes on social media. I have found the people who post those the most usually have the least going for them in life.
60-year-olds for not saving
If you are up in age and still driving a '96 Carolla, working paycheck to paycheck, and preventing a younger generation from jobs they deserve you should be ashamed. The problem with this group is there is very little time to change. You haven't earned our respect or pity because of your situation. You did nothing with your life and it shows. Your lack of self-improvement is now affecting others and you should be shamed into trying again. Heck, Stan Lee didn't create spiderman until 55 years old.
Any MLM person
Yes, you are part of a pyramid scheme and you pray on people as uneducated and gullible as you to help boost your income. Ninety-six percent of people who sign up for these never make any money of any kind. You are NOT an entrepreneur. It's hard to see these companies prey on people like listed above but hopefully, upcoming generations see these lies and demand change. John Oliver said it best:
"Three pounds down today" social media posts
Lord, give me strength. If you need constant feedback for your "weight-loss journey" you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. No one cares about your 12-minute mile "run" and the few pounds you lost that week. An obese person wanting to post about this is like a bankrupt person posting about they saved $10 that week. Shame can be a powerful tool here. We need to stop applauding mediocre steps for normalcy. Do you want to lose weight? We don't need to hear about it. You need to be on a treadmill running til your sweat reaches the bottom of your shirt or you puke. Post about that and I'll give it the blue thumbs up. Side note — Personal trainers showing people who are trying to change their life complicated workouts are just as much to blame. It's weird you rarely see the fittest people doing to hard, complicated, and ineffective workouts. TRX, weird kettlebell leg lifts, and other workouts seem to be designed to confuse clients and make them coming back. Huge scam alert that most people seem to not realize.
GoFundMe people
This is a great example of people having no shame using new technology. This was meant to help people in dire need. A way for us to help someone in unthinkable situations. These people who online begged need to be made aware. If you can't afford your invitro fertilization you probably cannot afford a baby, or you aren't responsible enough to save. Your $3000 medical bill is not our problem. There are multiple places that will give you a loan or put it on a credit card and pay it off like everyone else. Working two jobs and paying the debt yourself makes you a better person and will hopefully teach you some responsibility. Help them by sending a job application, not your money.
"Travel changed my life"
Puh-lease. All it did was get you out of your comfort zone and opened your eyes to new things. You are not a new person because you went to a new location. You didn't "find yourself." Unless that "self" was a shameless dumpster fire of blog posts. That's enough time wasted on them.
Failure to launch
36% of older (ages 25-34) millennials still live at home. These are similar to the top category. When people think "loser," they think, "Adult living at home." I agree. Pretty much any life accomplishments are stunted or tainted. These people live in the delusion that they are successful. Obviously, it's easy to feel this way when you don't pay for rent, utilities, cable/internet, groceries, and household items. You are a baby with a job. Cute, but ultimately embarrassing for everyone around you. Try to help these people realize they are not accomplishing anything until they have independence. We don't focus too much on America while we were okay with living in Great Britain's "basement." Try not to make their day worse though just in case their mom forgot to make their bed or burnt their toast. They are adult babies after all. There are only two exclusions: Sick family members, and building a house. Newly-wed is not one. If you can't afford rent, you probably aren't responsible enough to be married. Shame.
To close, just remember: True friends tell the harsh truth. We want the ones we love to be better and I ask is giving shame and judging a try.
"I know I got to be right now, cause I can't get much wronger." — Kanye West