If Shakespeare Characters Went To High School

If Shakespeare Characters Went To High School

And if you had class with them.


Shakespeare is known for making his characters extremely human and applicable to anyone anywhere anyplace. So if you think about it a bit, you’ll probably realize that you’ve met a few of his characters in your own classes.

The Partier

The title of Party Boy has to go to Prince Hal. His father is stinkin’ rich and everyone knows it. So when daddy goes away on a business trip, Hal uses his dad’s house to throw awesome parties. Except his dad knows this and is planning on sending him to military school. Literally.

The Hipster

Hamlet is the hipster that everyone hates. He sits around sipping his soy latte while he writes poetry about his dysfunctional family. He’s overdramatic, angsty, and… slightly suicidal? He hates his life and lets everyone know it. He hates the system and lets everyone know it. And he says the craziest stuff that makes you wonder if he’s high. If he is, he’s probably buying from Hal. If he’s not, he might be a psychopath.

The Class Clown

There’s two types of class clowns, the one every hates because he’s smarter than everyone else but chooses to be the class clown regardless and the one that everyone pities he’s not smart enough to be anything other than the class clown. But at the end of the day, we always end up loving them because they make geometry bearable. Feste falls under the first type. He’s arguably the smartest character in the play but he chooses to make his living as a fool. He has the quickest wit and in the midst of all the midst of all the high school drama, he uses it to make his crush smile (and mess with the competition a little bit). On the other hand, Dromio(s) would be the second type. He’s absolutely loveable and we feel bad for him when his master runs him ragged. But we still laugh at him every time he gets yelled at or smacked around. He doesn’t get the girl at the end.He hardly even gets to celebrate reuniting with his brother. There really is no role for the poor guy other than the fool.

Most Likely To Succeed

Beatrice is, of course, the most likely to succeed. She’s ambitious, outspoken, wicked smart, and she won’t let anyone stand in her way. She’s fiercely loyal and super friendly which means she always makes great connections. And she knows what she wants and she’ll stick to it until she gets it. Everyone loves her and anyone that doesn’t is just jealous.

The Insecure Bully

Tybalt likes to pick fights. He isn’t really a bad person, just kind of a punk. An entitled, insecure, little punk. He probably didn’t get hugged enough as a child or his dad expected too much out of him so now he’s just kind of a jerk. You only hope he grows out of it before he gets into too much trouble. Oops.

The Theatre Geek

Bottom would hang out with all the theatre geeks. He thinks he deserves every leading role because he’s obviously destined for Broadway. And he gets a lot of the leading roles because the director likes him. He once scored with the popular girl because she was drunk but he doesn’t remember because he was drunk, too. And everyone outside the theatre clique doesn’t really understand why anyone likes him. They all spend more time laughing at how ridiculous and inflated he is. You at least won’t forget a single production of his.

The Ugly Duckling

I hate to call Helena the ugly duckling but I’m not sure what else to call this role. She’s the one that you don’t notice. Maybe she’s a bit socially awkward and it’s obvious she’s got a crush on the football captain. She’ll graduate the school and you won’t hear from her until the reunion. Then she’ll show up with her fiancé (the football captain) and you will hardly recognize her because of how much she’s changed. She’ll be doing everything she ever wanted to do that you didn’t even know she was into because you didn’t take the time to get to know her. And after talking to her for a few minutes you’ll regret not noticing her in high school.

The Mean Girl

The mean girl has to go to Shakespeare’s most diabolical villain, Iago. Iago makes Othello believe that his wife has cheated on him and strings him along until he kills his wife and then himself. And if you’ve known a mean girl, then yes, you know she’s that evil. The mean girl (or guy) is worse than the insecure bully because she’s just mean for the fun of it and she’s really good at it. She’ll find your weakness and take advantage of them. She’ll discover your deepest darkest secret, the one that you didn’t even know you had and then tell everyone about it. And she’ll make your question your miserable life every morning you wake up. Some scholars believe that Iago is the human incarnation of the devil. We all know the mean girl is literally Satan, so it doesn’t seem too far off base to me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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