The Many Shades of My Introversion

The Many Shades of My Introversion

How it has changed over the years.


I have always been an introvert.

It's just always been a bit of a calling card I've kept in my hand for myself, a sign plastered on the walls of my internalizations. It is a reminder of who I am, my functionality in a vast world of awkwardness, social interaction, and relations with other human beings. No matter how glorious a public situation may seem, I haven't found a worthwhile substitute for my own personal "battery recharge" than time and space left completely to my own thoughts.

I have always been nervous around people.

Any people, really. It is as if a fail-safe mechanism activates in my mind the moment I am faced with someone else. I instantly fall into the pattern of wanting to please while simultaneously wanting to peel off and go find a quiet corner to be by myself when I feel drained. I never want to fall short of another person's expectations, but at times, they seem both insurmountable and entirely a product of my own imagination. And I fall for it every time. I have a difficult time summoning the social energy to be around, period. I want to strike the right balance, but am unsure of how to do so.

I have always been okay with being alone.

It was a weird personal device I used when I got to college. "I will be alright being alone," I whispered to myself as I walked around campus on the first day. I had been so worried about the prospect of meeting other people and how to handle them that I was stressing to my very core. But it was on that day that I chose to accept what I had already really learned about myself - I am okay with being by myself. I am okay with what that means. I want to find friends and by no means will I give up my opportunities to do so, even if it just means complimenting someone's apparel choices. But I will not force myself into the lives of others who don't want me around. I won't break my back over trying to drag a person's opinion of me from hostile to somewhat neutral. I want to bend over backwards for the people I love, and I want to find the people who want that, who want me around. I want to embrace time together, time apart, time in company, time alone. I want to appreciate every side of me and the amazing people around me.

I have not always been the type of introvert I am now.

Because that's how things work, isn't it? You grow, you meet new people, you explore new things, and you adapt, changing your functionality to act as is needed for you. I was astonished to watch myself take on social butterfly extroverted tendencies. I was shocked to feel as though I wanted to be around others. Granted, I still need my time, I still warm up to people fully more slowly, and I still pull energy from being alone. But I have found people who want to be with me for me, who give me energy and strength simply because of the people they are. The shades of my introversion continue to change, adapt, grow, depending on where I am.

I am blessed to be where I am right here, right now. I'm not the same as I was nor as I will be. An adventure awaits that will just keeping helping me to move forward, understanding more of who I am with each passing day.

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65 Truths College Students Need to Hear Right Now

Truth every college student needs to hear.

1. The best memories are ones you actually can remember.

2. God isn’t going to ask you if you were in a top-tier sorority or fraternity at the gates.

3. You failed a test, not your life.

4. Numbers don’t define you.

5. That includes the number you see that is your grade.

6. Also, how much you weigh.

7. As well as if you are a “7/10” on a so-called “hot scale.”

8. Or if you can bench press 200 lbs. (@ all the guys at the gym, please chill.)

SEE ALSO: 7 Reminders Every College Student Needs To Hear Before The Semester Ends

9. Innocence is nothing to be ashamed of.

10. Neither are mistakes.

11. But learn from your mistakes. Mistakes can be lessons, which can be the biggest blessing.

12. Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be and that is okay.

13. You may not always understand what God is doing, but I promise He has a plan.

14. Every person you meet is battling their own struggles.

15. Life isn’t always great moments.

16. But you have to walk through the forest to get to the mountain top.

17. Your heart isn’t damaged. It is temporarily broken but it will be fixed.

18. However, the only one who can fix a broken heart is the one who created it.

19. So a cute boy or hot girl can’t put the pieces back together.

20. Neither can ice cream.

21. But ice cream can totally help.

22. Stop texting your ex. He/She is your ex for a reason.

23. Loving Jesus means loving people.

24. Loving Jesus also means loving the image of Him in the mirror you see.

25. Stop hiding your emotions. Stop crying in the bathroom or behind a locked door. You have people in your life who care about you.

26. Suicide is never the answer.

27. Breathe in, breathe out.

28. Do you feel your heart pump? Do you feel the air exiting your body? That is a sign you are here for a purpose. Your life is no mistake.

29. Just because you doubt, doesn’t mean you don’t believe in Jesus.

30. However, when walking on the water scares you, look to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him.

31. If you have the opportunity to go to school go. There are young girls around the world who would do anything to sit at the desk you are complaining about.

32. Don’t pick a career based on money.

33. However, I promise you can use any passion or gift to serve a purpose bigger than yourself if you allow yourself to give it to the One who gave it to you.

34. You don’t need pretty prayers to please God.

35. Talk to Him like you are talking to a friend.

36. Look for the good in everyone.

37. That includes the mean girl who no one likes. Chances are she is mean for a reason. Someone was once mean to her. Kill her with kindness.

38. Pray to have the Lord’s eyes. See people with love.

39. Try to have the Lord’s hands, always be reaching out to others.

40. Each morning, pray to have the Lord’s feet and go where He calls you.

41. It is a bad day, not a bad life.

SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Be A College Student In April

42. You don’t need a six-pack to find a man who loves you.

43. You need a spouse who will be able to look at you when you are 80, and wrinkly and maybe a little chunky, and you need him to love you then. If he loves you for your body and your hair, I promise he doesn’t actually love you. Looks fade, but love is eternal. Find someone who loves you like Jesus.

44. Do some squats.

45. But squat so you feel good about yourself, not to attract the opposite sex.

46. You are never too old to find a new hobby.

47. You were beautiful before someone told you.

48. If you don’t know if you are in relationship or not, leave. You deserve clarity, not insecurity.

49. You deserve friendships that are mutual.

50. The best Friday nights are spent with a puppy and food. It is okay to not always be social.

51. Stop worrying about whether your crush will text you back.

52. Stop over analyzing everything in general.

53. Pray for your future spouse.

54. However, also pray for your future bridesmaids/groomsmen. Some of the most influential people you may have in your life you may not have even met yet.

55. Storms bring strength.

56. And storms bring rainbows if you are patient and observant.

57. Stop Pinteresting your dream life and start living it.

58. The Bible is actually extremely relatable. Open it up. Read it.

59. Romans 8:28 “and we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” God is on your team. He wants you to have moments of celebration. He has a purpose for you greater than your bad day.

60. Never forget what Jesus did for you on that cross. When he died for you, it was painful and brutal. It was ugly. It was love. Don’t let that truth ever become numb to you no matter how many times you have heard the story.

61. There is nothing wrong with carbs.

62. Study. And don’t wait for the night before.

63. Find someone who you can look up to.

64. Also, never forget that there is always someone looking up to you. Act like someone you would want your future children to be. Act in a way that reflects wisdom.

65. Smile more, you are loved by the one who hung the stars and painted the sea. He created puppies and carbs–yet still loves you more. That is something to celebrate.

College is tough and life is hard. You are going to have moments where all you want to do is celebrate life with your best friends, but you will also have moments where you just want to lock the door, ignore everyone, and have a good cry. Never forget that your worth comes from something greater than your Biology grade, and from Someone greater that the one who broke your heart.

You aren’t too cool for Christ in college. Christ is a necessity for you in your life. He can hold your hand during your heartbreaks and failures and celebrate with you when you get the text back or a passing grade in foreign language. He loves for you and cares for you more than your sorority or fraternity ever will.

So buy your books, do your homework, but never forget when you are walking to you 8:00 a.m. you regretfully signed up for, to look up. Look at the clouds and the sky and thank your creator that in a big big world with many beautiful things, He still loves our messy hearts even more. So this one is for the boys for the King. This life is for the One who laid down His life.

I promise college is more fun when you dance with your Savior. Follow His lead and let him take you on a journey where you can find your purpose. You may not know where you are going, but you do know who you are following.

So never forget that although classes may be hard, and your metabolism may be slowing down–God is still good. He turns our ashes into beauty and our trials into our testimony. Do life with your creator and I promise you that you will have more than you need.

Romans 8:28 “And we know God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Check out my website for more articles on self-worth <3

Twitter: gracev96

Instagram: lemmebeyourvalentine

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5 Easy Ways To Stay Healthy When Your Schedule Won't Allow It

When college life gets too hectic, use these easy tips to stay healthy while on-the-go.


About halfway through the semester, college students start feeling the stress of having too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Drowning in midterms and papers, while also staying involved and being social, students sometimes put their health on the back burner. But, in order to succeed mentally, we must also be conscious of taking care of our bodies physically. Here are five easy tips to keep in mind when your busy schedule makes it hard to stay healthy:

1. Drink Water. LOTS of it.

Staying hydrated is rule number one in living a healthy lifestyle. Not only does water provide our body with necessary nutrients, it also can prevent headaches, make your skin clearer and help with weight loss. Think about cutting out soda and energy drinks - this will decrease your sugar intake and help shed some extra pounds.

2. Plan out your meals ahead of time 

Don't wait until it's 10 p.m. to realize you haven't eaten all day. Despite what your stomach is telling you, McDonald's drive-thru is not the way to go. Planning your meals ahead of time will help you avoid these situations and stay on track. Try to plan your meals the night before, to minimize the amount of time that is needed to prepare them - have the chicken already thawed or cut the vegetables ahead of time. Having an idea of your meals for the day will also help you decide when to snack (if necessary). Another option can be to meal prep for the entire week on the weekends and heat up your meals as you go through the week.

3. Substitute when you can 

When there are healthier options available – substitute them in! Have carrot chips with hummus instead of pita chips, low-fat yogurt instead of cereal, lettuce wraps instead of tortilla shells or fruit instead of candy. These little substitutions can consciousmake a difference in keeping your eating as clean as possible. There will be times when you have no other options, so save the extra calories for when your only option is the chips from the vending machine in the library.

4. Snack Mindfully!

When preparing your meals for the next day, also portion out your snacks. It can be easy to devour an extra-large bag of trail mix while studying (trust me). conscious manage the number of calories you are snacking on, put proper portions into containers that you can take with you to avoid mindlessly overeating. If you plan accordingly, you should consider having two to three meals a day, with very minimal snacking in between.

5. Walk!

When the gym just isn't fitting into your schedule, chose to walk to class instead of driving or taking the bus. Exercise is not only good for the body, but also for the mind. Physical activity is proven to relieve stress and stimulate brain connectivity that can improve your mood. Staying active is a conscious factor in living a healthy lifestyle.

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