A Message From A Sexy Turkey
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A Message From A Sexy Turkey

We interrupt your fun scrolling with a live message from the feasting holiday spirit themselves: Sexy Turkey.


It's almost that time of year again.

The year where all eyes are on me- as they should be- and people are crowding around their tables trying to get a taste, much less, a glance, of the goods. Despite the mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, apple pie, rolls, corn, etc., I will always be started first. I, the turkey, am the head, the heart of feasting day.

Let it be known that my soft, juicy meat will always be the number one of the meal and the favorite. My crunchy skin, thick thighs, and my body full of stuffing is the epitome, the shining glory of everyone's day.

I am so delicious, I will be remembered and saved for days.

I am perfection; the hottest topic both literally and figuratively. People only ever look forward to eating me, seeing me being cooked in their stove then finally feeling the crunch of my meat under their teeth. They love me and, honestly, who can blame them? It is understandable why I'm the traditional dish of a holiday for each year, though, I believe I should be the traditional dish for all the holidays.

I'm looking at you Christmas cookies. We all know there's a reason Santa only ever takes a bite out of you.

Being put in the oven and feeling everyone eyeballing me, up and down, side to side is the most relaxing, most natural feeling in the world! Now, when the humans stuff me is another story, a more R-Rated story. Kids might be reading this, so I'll pass. When I'm set on the stove, I am always laid out on my best angle. Hint: My best angle is every angle.

Last but not least, despite the fact we all know people who just quickly think of something to openly comment on blessings, we all know that the main thing they are excited for is me.

Though it is not a bad thing to celebrate what you are thankful for, we have to remember the indigenous people who had lost their lives to colonizers. We acknowledge the amount of culture taken, the families torn apart due to selfish greed, blood needlessly splattered for a quick coin. Thanksgiving is not a true story. Far from it actually. Pilgrims did not eat peacefully with Indians and it is not good to act as though they did.

Times have changed heavily, but sadly there are so many things that clog those good days. Let feast day be a day in remembrance.


Sexy Turkey

P.S. I make sure to give everyone a good time, so I happily can not wait to see you on Indigenous People's day, Sugar Plum. ;)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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