"Your honesty is necessary for this activity to work." When handed an anonymous survey about issues girls in our college had faced, we were tasked with one job: to circle yes or no. Even if we were ashamed of the answers. We were asked if we had ever cut ourselves.We were asked if we have ever compared ourselves to someone.We were asked if we had ever crossed a physical boundary we didn't want to cross. We were asked if we had ever worked out excessively. We were asked if we had ever participated in oral sex.

We circled our answers, all huddling over our sheets to protect our best-kept secrets. When we turned them in, to our surprise, we were handed back someone else's sheet of responses. For every yes, we were asked to stand. For questions we feared no one else would admit to besides us, 3/4 of the room stood standing. We were made blatantly aware of how many girls struggled with the same issues as we did. I noticed as a majority of issues all lead back to one inward lie many women experience: the pressure they need to be sexy. I'm here to tell you that sexy is overrated.

One cause of insecurity may of us have experienced is the pressure put on women by men to look a way that meets their criteria to get their attention. This is promoted all over media. It's as innocent as in the show, "Friends," how Joey jokingly chases after every beautiful girl he sees. Ironically, the only girls he hits on in the show are always meeting the modern standard of beauty: thin, clear complexion, and seemingly perfect body figures. Thus creates the idea in the minds of the women who watch that this is the image you have to achieve for men to want to pursue you.

Another cause of insecurity is created by other women we interact with. In a study from April 2016, 69% of women said they have felt some type of judgment on their bodies. Other women also fuel our insecurity because we feel the unconscious sizing each other up. Instead, as women we need to stand together in a way that we are encouraging of each other's diversity and beauty.

Music we listen to also promotes what is attractive to a man, in a negative way. Even by women themselves. Women have began using their sex appeal to gain the attention of men. At first, this will probably seem as though it's working. But it is exhausting to keep up. You don't want to be with a man you feel you have to put on an appearance and lose your own standards to please.

These insecurities often cause us to do things we regret. They have caused many girls to inflict harm their own bodies just to fit the mold. We've lowered our standards of what's an acceptable boundary with men because we want them to give us the affirmation we crave, even if it means giving them what they want to get it. If you have found yourself regretting the times you let these insecurities overtake you: You have been set free. As women, it's time to stop lowering ourselves to give into society's expectations for us. It's time to start rising and standing together, using encouraging words to build each other up not tear them down. Trying to make yourself fit the role of "sexy" that the world promotes will only leave you empty and more insecure than before. Regardless of what the world has told you, start pursuing strong, beautiful, and healthy. Sexy is overrated.

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." -John 8:36