Why We Need To Stop The Sexualization And Revulsion Of Virginity In College | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Why We Need To Stop The Sexualization And Revulsion Of Virginity In College

Virginity is a personal choice

95
Why We Need To Stop The Sexualization And Revulsion Of Virginity In College
Ida Lasic

There's such a stigma surrounding being a virgin, especially in college. Although it's true that college is a time when sexual experimentation and liberation are at an all-time high, it's not uncommon for there to be quite a number of college students that are virgins. There are definitely more students that are virgins than people realize. Despite this, several of those students feel embarrassed or ashamed of their situation, and it's all because of the stigma that comes with it. It's a shadow that's ever present and constantly looming over them. It's inescapable and affects a variety of situations involving their college life, such as at parties or when talking to a friend or even when alone in their dorm rooms (which is shown in the cover photo). Many have experienced situations in which they felt overly sexualized because of their virginity, or the complete opposite felt that because of it they lost opportunities and were rejected. This is not gender exclusive. This applies to both males and females because these opinions are shared by both genders when it comes to virgins.

I've heard multiple conversations in which people have said that they've always wanted to take someone else's virginity. The reasoning being that anytime someone thought of their first time, they would always be associated with it, and so it would be an imprint left on that person's life that could never be taken back. It sounds kind of twisted and narcissistic, and honestly it is, but unfortunately that's really how some people think. The idea that they're taking away someone's "innocence" and being part of such a monumental stepping stone is a thrill and attracts them even more. However, when virgins (and honestly anyone should feel this way about it) feel sexualized by their virginity and the reactions it comes with, they feel uncomfortable and grossed out. A friend of mine who was self conscious about her virginity was even told by a guy friend of hers not to worry because "virgins are hot because they're super tight." The fact that someone would have the audacity to say that and seriously mean it is absurd to me. And although when she told me about it I was shocked, I shouldn't have truly been because I know there are people that think that way about virgins, and probably things that are much worse and offensive.

On the flip side, there are just as many people that use that exact same reasoning to explain why they stay away from messing around or trying to talk to virgins. They don't want to feel that kind of pressure on them and don't want the other person to have expectations because their first time was with them. For the most part, in college sex is casual and many people want a no strings attached type of situation. So when people that have that opinion encounter a virgin, they back off because of how they believe that person will react after sex, if it were to reach that point. They don't want to have more expected from them then what they're willing to give, which is just sex. Even though there may be cases in which that wouldn't be how the other person would feel, think, or react, many are still unwilling to give it a chance. It's unfair to the people being rejected because of their virginity, but if that's how it is, then they're better off not getting into a situation like that anyway.

Another reason that virgins are rejected is because some people don't want to deal with the awkwardness or inexperience of someone else's first time. They remember their own first time and their inexperience and prefer to not go through that again. The worst part about this is that so many virgins are afraid of how their first time is going to be. They're afraid they may not be good their first time and won't be able to live up to the other person's expectations of sex. It's terrible that one of the biggest fears that virgins have is thrown right back in their face by people who are inconsiderate of their situation and fears. They are especially not worth the sadness over the rejection.

Then there are people who are virgins and want to stay that way for personal reasons. Other people that are aware of this may stick around after finding out someone is a virgin in hopes that somehow, in some way, they'll be able to change that person's mind and convince them to have sex. These people are probably the worst, because not only do they mislead you into a false sense of security and acceptance, but then it also becomes clear that they don't respect you, because if they did they wouldn't try to change something you feel strongly about. Most of the time they end up leaving and giving up anyway because there is no shift in the other person's stance on having sex. Another friend of mine was in a situation such as this and in the end was left feeling like they couldn't hold the other person's interest because of lack of wanting things to escalate sexually. It's unfortunate that there are people that refuse to accept or respect the way other people feel. Virgins in this situation deserve so much respect for sticking to their guns and not allowing anything to weaken their resolve because they're the ones that are most pressured into having sex.

Due to situations in which virgins have experienced both sexualization and revulsion because of their virginity, it makes many people feel bad about themselves and makes them hesitant and afraid to admit to others that they are. However, thankfully that doesn't stop them from dealing with these awful situations (which they shouldn't even have to deal with) with class and patience as they continue to look forward to the future in the hopes that one day they'll find someone that fits their needs perfectly and doesn't sexualize or reject them because of their virginity.

As a friend of mine told me recently, "I'd rather deal with all that than prove my worth through having sex." And that's the kind of mentality that needs to be maintained and reinforced, because everyone deserves more than that, even if they've been made to believe they don't.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

182830
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

9542
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

454075
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

24249
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments