Why My Sexuality is No One's Business

Why My Sexuality Is No One's Business

A business is actually a group of ferrets.

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My sexuality is no one's business for two reasons: I have never paid anyone to force me to meet who they think are my potential "significant others," and 'a business' is also a group of ferrets.

I am not allowed to be a single heterosexual female. I have not dated in a few years, and the experience has been enlightening. Society cannot accept my single status for what it is. Society seeks to change it.

Society is wrong.

I partially would like to blame the romantic comedies that make people believe that the only relationship worth pursuing in life is a romantic one. What's worse, they usually try to make it seem as if people are incomplete until they find a partner that makes them complete.

I am a whole person. I can think for myself, talk for myself, and take care of myself. However, people usually thrive in communities because they have flaws. I have flaws, I accept them, but having these flaws does not mean that all of them will be fixed by dating someone I do not have feelings for. People confuse emotional isolation with 'single' status. I can be single and be mentally healthy with friends. No one NEEDS a meaningless romantic relationship.

That's the trick: people end up in romantic relationships because they share romantic feelings. The chemistry between two people cannot be manufactured. No matter how much a person can push my buttons, there is not a specific sequence that will grant them access to my heart. There is no passcode, finger scanner, or any other device that can turn organic feelings into something robotic and controllable.

Being single has had its limitations. Some people have taken it upon themselves to decide what kind of person would suit me best in a romantic relationship. People have tried to figure out what kind of transportation I find attractive, what color I find most attractive when other people wear it, and even have tried to convince certain people to order the same drink as me because apparently, that must be attractive too.

Ultimately, who I am attracted to is a personal matter, not a public one. I should not have to explain to people that they cannot force me to meet someone who they think is wearing the "right" shirt, pants, shoes, glasses, hat, etc and think that I will suddenly fall in love. There is no "right" career, mode of transportation, ethnicity, height, weight, muscle mass, or anything else that will force me to have feelings for someone. Feelings are not made by a scientific formula. Forcing me to look at someone is still not going to make me engage in love at first sight.

As a single heterosexual female, I have learned that I do not have social protection. I should not have to be in a meaningless relationship to not be society's victim of matchmaking. If I talk to a girl for too long, I am accused of being homosexual. If I talk to a guy too long, I am accused of having a crush on him. If I speak to anyone who is already is in a monogamous relationship, I am poisonous vixen that needs to be released from society. People assume that the motives of people around them are primarily based upon sexuality instead of friendship. These assumptions are false, and being single should not validate me being treated like a public problem that needs mending. This is ridiculous, and my sexuality is still no one's business. Unless you have more than one ferret in your possession, you may not even have a proper business.

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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.
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Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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