The other day as I was stubbornly avoiding my homework and scrolling through Pinterest, I stumbled upon something disturbing. Up and down my “newsfeed," pictures of shirtless men in low riding jeans, boxers and other form-fitting outfits were popping up from the boards of, unsurprisingly, women.
Pinterest is an online bulletin board on which users create boards and “pin” pictures of everything from craft ideas, recipes, articles, to just photos that they like. In this case, it would be over-sexualized pictures of men with nearly impossible muscular definition, sharp jawlines and perfectly proportioned height. These impossible standards for men that the opposite sex projects as desirable seem uncannily similar to the restricting and overwhelming expectations placed on women in the media — expectations that are unfair and unfulfillable for most of the population.
Filled with a disgusted sort of curiosity, I clicked on the link leading to one such board titled, “Eye Candy.” With growing discomfort, I scrolled through dozens, hundreds even of cookie cutter images of cookie-cutter men — all with six packs, identical jawlines, perfect hair and flawless skin. I became so bothered I left the page and closed my Pinterest app. I am not a sociology major, nor a psychologist, but I can think critically enough to put together the pieces of this social situation.
For centuries women have been oppressed, objectified and abused. This is a fact. This is a truth I have experienced my entire life as a woman. The objectification of women is seen in ads that portray women in racy outfits in order to sell cars, food item or any number of products and in the perpetuation of the idea that women are simply there to fulfill the sexual needs of men. It has resulted in generations of women with cyclical self-doubt, self hate and unhealthy perfectionist habits, striving towards an upper-class definition of beauty. I myself cannot count the number of times I wished I could be just a little bit taller, a few pounds lighter, a little more “beautiful” after seeing ad after ad of the airbrushed women who act as the face of beauty for modern culture.
Yet now I have seen not only the objectification of women, but of men as well, and both are equally atrocious.
More and more often I find myself confronted with the sexist behaviors of my own gender, and I must come to terms with not only the present but the years of change and cyclic behavior that has led us here. Allow me to just say, this is such a delicate issue, such a tense topic, and I by no means claim to have all the answers. I simply wish to start a dialogue by sharing my own thoughts and reflections.
Objectifying people is always wrong. It leads to dehumanization and often abuse. The constant flood of images of flawless women over the years has only served to demean women in society, to manipulate men into holding unrealistic expectations and to force women into self-doubt. This is unfair for both genders. It can only lead down paths of destructive behavior and thinking.
I am understanding of this particular female behavior because I see the way it has sprung up after years of repression the way bad behavior sometimes springs up in extremely sheltered children once they are loosed into the real world. Women for so long have been taught to be docile, controlled, and in some ways to lack any sexuality of their own outside of pleasing men. Now, women have made great strides towards gender equality, but many women in modern society have turned this stereotype so far on it’s head that they have repaid evil for evil, and made men into nothing but sexual objects.
Some could say that women objectifying men in the same way men have long objectified women is a form of equality, and they would be right. It is a form of equality, but what good is it to just be equally wrong? As a woman, I know how it feels to constantly be under the onslaught of media pressure, and it’s nonsensical to force that burden onto the shoulders of others. More than anything though, this two-way objectifying is thoughtless and doesn’t lead anywhere near the neighborhood of equality.
The sad truth is that when women objectify men, it mirrors patterns of sexist behavior and perpetuates sexism by strengthening the cycle of inequality. Young men growing up seeing these images that are put out there by women begin to believe that all women want are sexy muscular men who can overpower them and be “eye candy," so they strive to fulfill this at all costs. All the while, because men strive to fulfill these ideals of masculinity, women remain abused and objectified by media and the opposite sex to the same extent as always, but often by the very men they advertise explicitly and implicitly for.
This is not to say that women, who have long been the victims of sexism, are to blame for the unjust cycle and climate of inequality. I firmly believe in gender equality, and I desire nothing more than for women and men to reach an equal playing field academically, socially, economically and sexually (meaning they are seen as having equal power in sexual relationships and aren’t viewed as void of sexuality or as forcibly submissive partners like they are often portrayed in movies, song lyrics and mass media). However, objectifying people is simply never okay, no matter what direction it is coming from. If it continues, the cycle of injustice will continue, and the goal of equality will never be reached.
As I said previously, this is an issue of intense complexity, and I am sure I failed to do it justice. All I desire to do is create a dialogue that each and every person can interact with and become a part of, because, after all, gender equality is everyone’s problem. It cannot be flippantly tossed to women to solve because it’s bigger than just women’s rights. It’s about human rights as a whole because the current chasm between male and female rights in society is damaging the young and old of both genders. Gender equality is a two way street, ladies and gentlemen, and it’s time for everyone to be competent drivers.
