Sexual Double Standards

There is a perpetual notion that the ideal female is one who has no sexual partners, or at most, one person that is the one she gets married to, while "a real man" is one who has multiple sexual partners, especially when married. Over time, the idea that a male can be as sexual as he desires while a female must not, in order to remain valuable, has been encouraged. These ideas have created concepts that shape how we better understand the society we live in, regardless of who it intimidates. Concepts like "ho" and "slut" enforce sexual double standards because they devalue any woman known or suspected to have more than one sexual partner, while they praise a man.

These concepts have achieved so much power in the media and have prevented many from seeing how they diminish a woman’s worth. Media encourages this disrespect to females by singing or rapping about a female having little to no value if she is known to have had sexual partners. In a popular love song by Iyanya titled "Applaudise," the artist points out all the qualities of a girl he has fallen in love with. Iyanya’s lyrics quote, "and your beauty na natural/ and you no be leftover eh, your love na heaven o eh…” (You have a natural beauty/and you are not a leftover/your love is heavenly.) The term “You are not a leftover” presents women as having less worth if they are suspected to have any sexual partners. Iyanya’s emphasis on his girl not being a leftover was to point out that she was a virgin. The use of the word "leftover" emphasizes that women who are not virgins are mere residues of a previous male partner. To add some fuel to the burning fire, some females also encourage the ideas that belittles them in society by ridiculing one another or referring to each other as a ho. Nicki Minaj, one of the biggest female rappers in the music industry, produced the song "All Eyes on You" with her new boyfriend. In the song she pointed out why she was a better choice for her new man. Nicki Minaj’s verse reads, “You got the right one/All them hos, ain't nothin' like them/Nigga you know you'd never wife them/None of them niggas ain't never hit this.” Nicki expresses that she is a better option for her man because unlike other females, "them niggas" never slept with her. Society has been brainwashed to condemn women for their sexuality.

To make matters worse, the more women are ridiculed for their sexuality, the less men are. In media, men are not chained by these same concepts. Terms like ho, leftover (shackles) that keep women in bondage and label them without repeal are nonexistent for men. Therefore, males have absolute freedom and power over their sexual life. Society has no concepts that ridicule men who have multiple partners, and as a result, a man’s sexual life has no impact on his value. Men in the music industry are well aware of this fact; hence, why male artists boast about their sex life with multiple partners in their music. Trey Songz (big fan though), an R&B artist, narrates his experience of a trip to Miami in a song titled "All We Do." “Chilling in Miami and I met a little freak/Got three bad friends and they all on me.” Trey Songz is openly admitting to the world that he had four girls in the room at the same time, because he knows that rather than be condemned, he would be applauded. A drastic change to this scenario would be if a female artist or the girls (that were all on him) sang this song. Society would then involve morals and use sentences or remarks like “she is a ho.” In our society a man is commended and applauded for doing the same thing that shames and devalues a woman.

There’s a saying that is used today to justify why this happens. It states, “a key that opens many doors is a master key but a door that is opened by many keys is a useless door.” This simply means a man being the key is better when he sleeps with as many people as he wants (opens many doors) while a woman is worthless if she sleeps with more than one man (opened by many keys). Hence, why only the female gets called a ho, a slut, a leftover, etcetera.

When this issue first dawned on me, I thought it was just a media thing and the artists were just participating for the money. This idea vanished when I became a victim of the ridicule and beliefs myself. A group (mostly women) referred to me as a ho for defending a girl that was being verbally assaulted because she wore a pair of jeans and a crop top which revealed her stomach. I got involved when a fully covered Muslim woman commented that girls' outfits are why many girls get raped. I explained with the purpose of feeding her ignorance some knowledge that a person’s outfit is never an excuse to be verbally or sexually harassed. Just when I thought she was listening, she replied to me saying, “Hos will always defend other hos.” Neither myself nor the girl being harassed sang a song or rapped about being in bed with four men, yet we were belittled and called a ho.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche mentioned when she talked about the different goals society sets for females and males that, “Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage…but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?… We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” Society has carved out and created concepts that encourage a norm of double standards and disrespect to females and their sexual choices. Even so, people still continue to use these concepts because it is so deeply embedded in our society, and also because it is the only way people understand the world, and get around with other people.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.

NBC

From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments