Flashback to the summer of 2009. I was a fit, fun and free 18 year old who had her whole life ahead of her. I soon fell head over heels for a guy who had graduated from the same high school a year prior to me. Six months later, we moved in together. The only real responsibilities we had were going to College. So, of course, there was more time for fun, romance and spontaneity.

Flash forward nine years. My husband will bring up once in a blue moon that I "used to be fun" and I "used to like having a lot of sex". He's right. I can't even argue with him about that. Boy, do I wish sometimes that I could be that carefree 18 year old again. As far as the sex? I have two children that are 5 and almost 3 years old. They have me up at the crack of dawn and by the time they fall asleep, I am ready for bed, myself. But I have to usually choose between 1) Sleep 2) "Me time" or 3) A shower. So as selfish as it sounds, in order to make room for sex, that means I have to give up getting more sleep if I am super tired or "alone time" where no one is touching me and no one needs anything from me. When I do finally get in the mood every now and then, I guess my flirting just comes across as niceness to my hubby, so I get the response of "Why are you being so nice to me?" or "What do you want now?" (In a joking tone). Though, he is joking, it still stings a little. Kind of like an eye opener that has me thinking "Man, I've been acting like a real B lately, haven't I?". When you're as exhausted as I am all the time, it's inevitable that your libido dies a little and the irritability is in full swing. Depression also does not help with this. My therapist recommended that I be the one who starts the seduction or "act". Making him feel more wanted AND making me feel more in the mood. Though, it is something that is going to take work, by me doing the seducing, I am not getting any overwhelming amount of unwelcomed boob grabbing (while trying to cook dinner) that just make me annoyed. Yes, my husband gets on my nerves sometimes and so do my kids. If you have NEVER felt annoyed with your spouse or children, I would like to meet you and maybe you can teach me how to be perfect like you are.

Sex is such a taboo subject, but ESPECIALLY when couples are having trouble in the bedroom. Why?? At some point in any marriage, there are times that "knocking boots" doesn't seem to happen as often as the other spouse would like. The worst thing you can do is pretend that everything is fine. If you don't want to have sex, talk to your spouse. Communicate. If you don't feel like you can or you don't feel like it has helped, please talk with a counselor or therapist. It's amazing what their outside view can bring to the table. If you can relate to any of this, just know that you're not alone. There are too many couples who make their relationships look perfect on social media and in return, make others feel as though their relationships are horribly flawed. Don't believe everything on social media and remember to give yourself more credit and love than you did yesterday.

~The Truthful Mama