Here's one for all you "sluts,"
To start off, let’s take a moment to realize that we women are sexualized from everybody, everywhere. Social media, men and even women partake. Being sexualized is the constant idea that keeps a woman from being called a "prude." The funny part is as soon as we start to express our sexuality we are discriminated against. In other words, we are called a skank, ho, or slut. Hide your nipples while men show off their visible boners and shove them in your personal bubble because that’s normal. Say what you want in bed, but only at certain times. Have sex, but only when everyone feels it’s right for you to. Show a wild side, but not too wild. Have sex with only three people because that’s a good number. If you’re horny suck it up, because if you have a one night stand, it’s just not right. These examples of hypocritical sentences we hear almost everyday are what we call slut shaming. What is the true definition of slut shaming, you ask?
Slut-shaming is known as the act of criticizing a woman for her real or presumed sexual activity. We live in a generation where this term is widely used, all of the time, by both genders, to term a woman. A woman can be called a slut for either her promiscuity, the clothes she wears, or the number of her sexual partners. With this term, we follow a common, double standard that: “Boys will be boys and girls will be sluts." Wanting and having sex should be absolutely natural and normal for a woman, right? I mean, why wouldn’t it be? We have vaginas, hormones and body parts built for sexual pleasure. My neverending question is why are we slut shamed while men are praised for their sexual endeavors? Aren't we all supposed to be equal? Why am I only allowed to be equal when a man wants me to pay for half the meal, but not when I speak about what I want from sex?
Many people stereotype men as being the only ones who ever get horny. Well, I can personally testify to that as being false. I am basically a boy with a vagina. It as if God forgot to put a penis on me. I am not the only woman who feels this way. I have talked to many girls who state "It's like I am a man. I am so horny 24/7. I feel like I have too much testosterone in my body. My boyfriend doesn't even want sex as much as I do." When in reality, you don't have too much testosterone, you are a woman. We are supposed to be and are allowed to be horny. The only difference is it's not as easy for us. We are missing the visible boner that magically makes it acceptable for us to come onto the opposite sex like a sex, crazed feline.
I am all about proof. So I dabbled on the web and found a time when a women has increased sexual drive. That time is during ovulation. This is basically what they call it when a woman is in “heat.” A mature egg is released from the ovaries to the Fallopian tube where it may be fertilized. Her body prepares her for sexual stimulation, because she is ready to make a baby. Therefore, it is simply asinine for anyone to shame her for her body doing what it was made to do. Her libido is out of her control. In this generation, women are taught to change their ways because men apparently lack control. So, it should totally be acceptable for us to show our sexual appetite off to the world around this time or anytime we feel it. If men can assert themselves sexually, why can’t we?
No one said it better than Tina Fey in "Mean Girls," " You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores." This is probably the hardest part about slut-shaming. It is very rare that one sees women standing behind each other in any situation. It is always a competition and constant division in the world of females. Rather than taking a stand, we conform into the crude discrimination of ourselves. If we stood beside each other instead of against, I feel like incidences of slut shaming would decrease drastically. I mean where is the feminism? We fought for rights so that we can be equal and begin to gain power that is well deserved. Not to stoop down with the stupidity of men and trash our own gender?All women have the right to experience and express their sexuality in my book.
Regardless of who is calling you a slut. It hurts. As tough as you may want to act, slut shaming hits hard. You rethink your image and your worth. It even goes as deep as you questioning your relationship, if you had one with the person you were sleeping with. You question if he meant what he said or if you were just a piece of meat. It takes an emotional and physical tole on you. It makes you feel ashamed more than anything. It's almost as if you feel like you're wrong for something that should be seen as beautiful and a routine of life. Sex makes you feel good and brings a sense of closeness. It brings love. That is definitely something the world could use more of. Therefore, you are not a slut for wanting someone. You are not a slut for being different in the way you enjoy sex. You are not a slut for wearing provocative clothing. You want to know what you are? You are living your damn life.
Stop and realize that there is and should be no such word as a slut. Slut is a term used to attack and shame women while silencing their preferences. Whether a woman has had sex or hasn't, she faces the term. Whether she wears a crop top with short shorts or wears a turtle neck, she has the chance of facing demeaning words. If we want to be the stereotypical "slut", we should all just tattoo the word across our foreheads and proudly walk down the streets with pasties on our nips and half our asses hanging out our skirts. Let's not forget stilettos to top the look off. Give us a break and hop off with the constant judgement. We face the phrase "You are damned if you do and damned if you don't" relentlessly and it is beyond tiring.
Unfortunately, I do not feel like slut shaming is something that will ever go away or change. I feel the only choice we have is to group together while taking a feminist stand. We need to find the humor in this pathetic word that was made to silence us and take away our power. It is perfectly fine to want, need , or crave sex! Therefore, just do you. Have sex, wear whatever you want, be sexual in the way you want and how you want. For no matter what you do or wear, you will be judged. There is only one judge that matters and that is yourself. Don't let men sway your judgement ,because their lack of confidence. Don't let women shame you when they're calling the kettle black. Don't let society shame you for carrying condoms while men are termed to be "well prepared." If you're going to be a slut regardless, be the best damn slut you can be. You'll always have my support.
