We live in a day and age where we seem to ask less and less out of ourselves. We lower expectations and celebrate when they are met. People go to the internet to brag about how their significant other was so thoughtful and brought them takeout food. Now don’t get me wrong, I love food and if you bring me food I will be excited, but is that something that really sets your significant other apart? We as a society seem to accept more of the frivolous and shallow, and less of the deep and meaningful. The frivolous actions are great, and they have their place, but they need to have a strong foundation to be coming from. You shouldn’t date someone who is a jerk, but makes up for it by being thoughtful (usually when they want something in return) because it won’t fulfill you. You should date the person who seeks to love you fully, and shows it on a regular basis. Now because we are human we are prone to mess up, and that is ok, but we should constantly be striving to be our best. We should not be ok with just meeting expectations, but we should seek to excel. If you truly love the other person you should want what is best for them, and to be the best person you can for them. Love isn’t just butterflies in your stomach and enjoying being with someone; it is sacrifice and support for another so that they can be their best. These are seven ways that as gentlemen we can be better in our relationships. So men take note, and ladies please feel free to hold men to these expectations.
1. Pay attention to details and act accordingly.
I’m going to start off a little on the lighter side. Everyone loves to know that they matter and are appreciated. People like little thoughtful gifts and actions. Simple things like remembering what her favorite color, movie, band, flower, or place are can come in big time. They seem like small details, but they will be noticed. If you do things often enough to let her know that these details about her are noticed and appreciated, she will have more confidence and security in knowing that you care about who she is as an individual. Surprising her with her favorite chocolates for no particular reason is a nice way of outwardly showing how you feel.
2. Do not forget the big ticket items.
If the little things can have such an impact, just think how things like making sure anniversaries aren’t just remembered, but that you work to make them special. That doesn’t mean you have to make everyone a grand spectacle, but making sure that you make it clear that these are important to you will mean quite a bit to your significant other.
3. Actively Listen.
This one is huge. If you don’t listen you are going to have major problems. So not only making sure that you are hearing what she is saying but making sure you understand clearly what she is trying to get across. This shows that what she is saying is important to you. It is something that can help you out a lot as problems arise down the road.
4. Support her dreams and desires.
We all want someone who believes in what we are trying to accomplish in life. It is important that you actively support what she is trying to do in her life. Likewise, she should also be supportive of what you are trying to accomplish. You should work together to make each other the best person they can be.
5. Be respectful.
Your partner is not an object, nor a tool for you to use. They are a living breathing person with goals and dreams. So when it comes to sexual relations, the actions you take in the bedroom will reflect how you view them outside of the bedroom. So value the other person as they should be valued. Make sure that you take the initiative in setting, and following boundary lines. Now personally I believe in abstinence, but I understand that not everyone is going to share my views. What is important is that you are clear with what you both are comfortable with. Ultimately these actions should reflect the rest of the relationship. These actions are a physical representation of the passion and bond that you both share for each other and you should be concerned about it being the best experience it can be for the other. Your partner isn’t just someone you are using for your own pleasure.
6. Be respectful. Seriously. This is important.
You want to make sure that you show your significant other is treated properly. You wouldn’t enjoy being belittled or talked down to. You should build up your partner, and if you need to express frustration or work something out it should be done in private. Don’t air your dirty laundry out in public, don’t “kiss and tell,” don’t talk down to them. This is another human being who is deserving of the same respect you would want for yourself, treat her in such a way.
7. Put her before yourself.
As a Christian I believe you should put God first, others second, yourself third. You should treat your girlfriend/spouse in such a way that you would hope to be treated. This starts with you. You should hold yourself to high standards in life before you even enter a relationship. You should strive to be the best person you can be, and when you meet her you should strive to be the best person you can be for her. Support her, care for her, respect her, value her time, and value her body and boundaries. Work every day to make sure you are being the best person you can be for her. She has chosen you, of all the guys she could date and marry she has chosen you, you lucky guy. Make her know that she chose right.
