At the time that this is published, I will have just celebrated my 20th birthday. Against all odds, I managed to stay alive for not just one, but two decades.
This means that I will no longer be anything that constitutes as a teenager.
Teenagerdom is not easy. Between when I was a young 13-year-old, a kid about to start middle school, and now, a grown adult who just finished her first year of college, I have changed tremendously. But in looking back, I can understand the things I did, however cringeworthy, and also understand how they made me into the queer human being I am today.
Here are seven lessons for all teenagers, one for each year.
1. 13-Year-Olds
Love yourself. Everyone will start telling you that you must hate yourself, and you have to ignore them for as long as possible.
2. 14-Year-Olds
Don't stress over the little things. Six years down the line you will no longer remember them, and the ones that still impact you in the future will have made the you that you are.
3. 15-Year-Olds
Branch out. Don't stay in the comfort zone forever. This doesn't have to be with anything in particular. Branch out with friends, hobbies, books or travel. A big part of life is the necessity for the thrill. Without change, life would be just boring.
4. 16-Year-Olds
Don't settle because you think you might love them. Not everyone meets the love of their life in high school. People very rarely do. Treat yourself with respect and love and soon enough you'll find others who will do the same for you. Also, most teenagers are terrible at relationships. Dating is a learning process, though, and right now, you are in the stage of learning. That being said: good luck.
5. 17-Year-Olds
Treat yo' self. Now, as college is coming close, educate yourself. Read a book that isn't for school and isn't a novel. Find out what toxic masculinity is and how it affects you. Find your passion and latch onto it. If you don't know what your passion is -- ya got time.
6. 18-Year-Olds
You can vote, join the military, buy cigarettes in 49 states, drive a car and buy a lottery ticket, but you still can't drink alcohol. The arbitrariness of the law will bother you, and you may enter a brief anarchist phase. This is okay. When the questioning of meaning comes to you, remember: no answer to the meaning of life has ever been 100 percent satisfactory.
7. 19-Year-Olds
19-year-olds aren't really teenagers, but aren't 20-somethings. Nineteen is a year alone, caught between the two as an awkward pause before stepping into adulthood. You're going to learn a lot about yourself here. Turning 19 can be scary. But don't worry. When you reach the end, it's all worth it. The kid who thought they were a grownup six or seven years too early is still in there, overjoyed to see who they became in time.
I love the person my teenage years made me become. She is strong, and she is ready for what lies ahead of her in life. She can do anything she sets her mind to -- even make silly lists.
