Young Women Like Me Are Settling Down, NOT Settling For Less

Young Women Like Me Are Settling Down, NOT Settling For Less

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You're too young to settle down."

"You have your whole life ahead of you."

"You don't want to be held down at your age!"

"You should be spending your teen years and early 20s dating and having a lot of different experiences."

Any serious "young" couple has probably heard these negative comments from friends and family. But as a 20-year-old in a deeply committed relationship, I dare to say this: these "reasons" people give me to be single at my age, are exactly the same reasons I want to be committed to my boyfriend. I truly believe we are soulmates, after all.

So why wouldn't I want to be with him?

"You should be dating around, figuring out your likes and dislikes in a significant other."

It's true, dating experience is important. If you spend your entire life with your first ever boyfriend or girlfriend, you'll never know anything else, and may be limiting yourself in doing so. Most people don't end up with their first dating partner for life.

If you're still with your first love, I applaud you! But most of us have to kiss a few frogs and get our heart broken a couple times (or a lot) before we find "The One." I've gotten my heart broken plenty of times and had a multitude of positive and negative dating experiences with different people.

I've had my fair share of heartbreaks, and I definitely don't want any more of them. So why should I subject myself to dating jerks just to get more dating experience, when I'm in love with someone who treats me amazingly?

Now that I've found someone who loves me for me, I have no interest in Talking (with a capital T) to guys who I'm 100% sure are just going to hurt me. Why bother opening up to someone who's just going to use me for sex, and then go ghost? No thanks!

When you find your soulmate, you don't need as many of your own life experiences. Your soulmate becomes your life partner, and there are so many things to do together: getting a house together, taking vacations, adopting a pet, attending your friends' weddings. While I would be forced to grow up on my own if it weren't for Sam, life is so much more comfortable and happier with him.

"You have your whole life ahead of you."

Right, and I have been blessed to find my soulmate so early in life. Because of that, we can spend the majority of our lives together — growing up and growing old together.

I don't want to "do" life alone. And because I met my boyfriend Sam so young, we are lucky enough to be able to "do" life together. We can share our life experiences and adventures together, and build decades worth of memories.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cover Image Credit: demibrooke / Flickr

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The Saddest Type Of Breakup Is The One You See Coming

"You try and try to make things work and sometimes they just don’t."

Being in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Unfortunately, not all relationships last even when you want them to. Sometimes breakups are needed and are unavoidable.

The saddest breakup of all though is when you watch your relationship deteriorate right in front of you and there’s nothing you can do.

This situation is so tough. You try and try to make things work and sometimes they just don’t. You can feel yourself losing contact with the person. You know what’s happening and you just have to let it play out because you’ve done everything you possibly can. You try to make amends but it’s just too late. You don’t want to be the one to break things off because you really don’t want to lose this person. You push and push to try and make things work, but nothing works.

You know all too well what is happening and you can’t avoid the inevitable. Maybe it’s not your time with this person or maybe your time has come to an end. You can’t hold on to someone who’s already gone. That's the reality of it and it hurts. It sucks actually. Sometimes this feels like the hardest pain in your life. You truly believe that you and this person are meant to be together and sometimes that just isn't reciprocated.

You think about all the firsts and how great everything was and how things used to be. Things change and so do feelings and it's hard when you still feel all these things and your partner doesn't. It happens though. People fall out of love and you can't do anything to make them love you again. And that's just how it is sometimes.

To the people who are going through this, I understand your pain. I know things are dark now and you don’t think they’ll get any better, but they do. I promise you. Don’t give up on finding your light and doing things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.

Things will be so messy for a while, but you will find your way back to you and you will come out of this stronger. Keep on keeping on.

Cover Image Credit: sapplephotography / Instagram

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To The Man Who Pushed Her Away When You Didn't Deserve Her

She was something special, too bad you weren't.

She still looks back on the day that she laid eyes on you. She thought you were perfect, so she tried to be perfect herself. She only had eyes for you, no one else measured up to the way you made her feel. She never thought she was good enough for you. She tried so hard to deserve your love. She always worked to meet your expectations, hoped that you would love her the way that she loved you. She faked a smile on the worst of days, because she didn’t want to drag you down. She always hoped things would change, that things would get better.

She was one of those girls that knew even though she didn’t have you every minute of every day, that you were always on her mind. She always knew what you could give her, and never expected more. She knew that she could give most of these things to herself. She wanted to be by your side through the good times and the bad. She wanted to be such an important part of your life. She wanted to be “your person”, the person you told your secrets to. She was selfless, she did not think of anyone else, you were her everything. She gave herself to you, and she hoped that you could do the same for her, but once again you disappointed her.

Then she fell in love with you, she put you first. She chose you, and only you. You were more important to her than anyone else. She wanted to kiss your face every chance she got. She wanted to listen to your problems on a bad day. She was there for you through everything. She loved you with all her heart, but you never gave her the chance for you to love her back.

Then she saw your flaws, and well, she accepted every one of them. She loved your flaws as much as your strengths. She knew that you weren’t perfect, even though she pretended you were. She accepted your flaws, and loved you the way you were. She was perfectly aware of these flaws, and she knew that you were a human like everyone else. Even with all the mistakes you made, the times you made her cry, the times you hurt her feelings, she still forgave you. She still had this perfect image of you.

Even after all the horrible things you did to her, the time you broke her heart, she still couldn’t be mad at you. She loved you, and still loves you. She knows your bad for her, she knows you do not deserve her love but she can’t walk away. You made her feel like she was not good enough, and that is not fair. She did everything for you. You aren’t worthy of her love. Through all the bad, she still cannot hate you.

She loved you, she was willing to stick by you through hard times, but you pushed her away. She could not stand there to feel lower than low. She kept wearing herself down trying to pick you up. She gave you everything and expected nothing in return. She finally understood that she deserved more. She finally gave up on you. You pushed her away, you didn’t tell her that you loved her. You didn’t tell her how much you appreciated her. You didn’t say “thank you”, you pushed her away by not choosing her first.

You made so many excuses, tried to blame others, tried to say your damaged, but let me tell you the truth, there is no excuse for how you treated her. You lost a great girl in your life, let her walk right out, you didn’t think twice about it. You destroyed her, you broke her, she wont be the same for a while. All because you couldn’t open your heart to love her.

She was this amazing girl, she was special. You’ll never come across a girl like her again. When will you find a girl this amazing, that was also your best friend. She loved you, she was your person. But thank you, you pushed her away so she was able to find someone that can show her what love is meant to be like. She deserves to be loved the way that she loves. She was one of a kind and you let her walk away, you pushed her to the point that she was able to muster the strength to value herself. She was able to allow herself to love again, so she could make room in her heart for someone new. Someone as special as she is. Someone that will treat her the way that she is meant to be treated.

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