In movies and TV shows, you hear a lot about how one person in the relationship is the "settler" and the other person is the "reacher." The settler is the person who knows they could have someone better but is choosing not to. The reacher is someone who is with someone out of their league. These two terms are seen in "How I Met Your Mother" with Marshal and Lilly. Marshall asks Lilly which one she would classify herself as and she said, "The settler" that leaves Marshall as the reacher, but he saw it the other way around and felt that he needed to make her jealous in some way so that she would see it the same way as him.
God did not create relationships with a "settler" or a "reacher" in mind. He made two people to be together and fill in the missing gaps in each other's heart. The saying, "I was made for you. You were made for me," sounds cliche, but in the terms of how God created relationships, it is more significant than a settler and a reacher. God designed each one of us with love. He made each one of us to become one with someone else. Your whole life has led up to the day that you will look into your soul mates eyes and feel completely whole. The day that you go from being broken to being whole. God designed you to fill someone else's heart perfectly and them to fill yours making you two one.
"A cord of three strands is not easily broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
This is the meaning behind a relationship with another person. A relationship is you, your significant other and God. The relationship is you two becoming one and having God at the center of that relationship. No one is the settler or the reacher because He made you two for each other. It may take years to find each other, but eventually, you will. You will stand in front of all of your family and friends and most importantly God and you will commit yourselves to each other, combining the strands. Three strands that are bound so tightly together that they cannot break even through the toughest times in life.
"I have found the one whom my soul loves." (Song of Solomon 3:4)
You will seem imperfect to everyone else except the one your soul is called to. You won't understand what it means to completely love another human being until you look this person in the eyes. You won't see their flaws or imperfections, but you will see every inch of them that God perfectly designed. The way that your hand will fit perfectly between theirs. The way your head rests perfectly on their chest. The little quirks they do that you adore, but to everyone else they are annoying. Their singing will sound like a choir of angels where to everyone else it sounds awful. When you do meet this person whom your soul loves everything they do will seem perfect because of the way each of you was made. You were made with God's own hands to become one when the time is right. It will be on His time so don't try and rush it.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)
Loving someone means that you are not settling for someone or getting someone out of your league. There are no leagues and the terms "settling" and "reaching" are non-existent in the Kingdom of God. There are only imperfect people made perfectly for the one their soul loves. Wait for the imperfect person that God made perfectly for you to fill your soul with love and wholeness.
